Nightmares, troubled, hopeless, depressed, unhappy and "guru"?

[PADA: Notice in Prithu's letter of "resignation from guru" how the GBC has changed the entire definition of guru from a person experiencing "eternal bliss with Krishna" to a person who is having A NIGHTMARE of MASSIVE DEPRESSION, etc. They have turned the whole idea of guru upside down. ys pd] 

From Prithu Prabhu:

Dear devotees in the ISKCON family and outside,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. I wish to inform you of my present situation.

I have been suffering from some very serious health problems for the last few months. I have been going through a period of MASSIVE DEPRESSIONS, and my experience has been, and at times still is, a NIGHTMARE OF INTENSE UNHAPPINESS, UTTER HOPELESSNESS,coupled with FEELINGS OF ABANDONMENT AND HELPLESSNESS.

These difficulties may have possibly been exaggerated by both my HEPATITIS C condition as well as a recent severe fasting regime. Yet there is an underlying spiritual cause to all of this, and I owe it to you to disclose it: I have been failing to follow our spiritual principles for a good while. The present intense bout of depressions are actually the deserved reaction for not practicing what I have been preaching, keeping the other very dark side of myself to myself and locked away from my family, my dear disciples, and the rest of the world.

For me to get to a better place it is clear that I need first of all to be honest with myself and with all of you. Further, I need to resign from my service of initiating guru and discontinue guiding my disciples in that capacity. Last, but not least, I wish to resign from my position as member of the Governing Body of ISKCON.

As for the future: There is no question in my mind as to my ongoing dedication to Srila Prabhupada and his movement. What exact form that service might take is not clear to me as yet, and I would appreciate your feedback. I am sorry and apologize to you for being a disappointment. Let me ask for forgiveness for offences I have committed over the years to many of you. I pray that you be kind to this poor soul, pray for me, and give me your support at this trying time. My heart goes out to my beloved disciples, who have been wonderful friends to me all these years, a great source of happiness and support, especially in the last very trying days. May Sri Krishna bless them more and more and be able to drag me home, back to Godhead.

Thank you for listening to my story— the story of one who went out to save the world while being on the inside a DEEPLY TROUBLED, HELPLESS AND UNHAPPY soul.

Your servant,
Prithu das