Dear leaders and members of our beautiful ISKCON society,
Dear spiritual guides of this planet Earth,
Dear parents and teachers of the world,
Today I'm catching up on my Facebook feed and I feel like throwing up ... I'm angry. I'm tantrumming. I'm being belligerent to my husband and kids who know something is wrong.
It is absolutely not okay! For children and teenagers to be mistreated. The service and care of our children and teenagers is more important than book distribution, than Deity Worship (yes, Srila Prabhupada says that directly!), than fundraising, than any other service ever!
The time period between ages 0 to 16 are such incredibly important periods of a human's life. Why does Sri Prahlad maharaj say kaumara acaret prajno.
Every single interaction, whether they remember it or not, will serve as the foundation for the rest of their experiences and interactions and choices for the rest of their lives.
Developmental stages that are brutally attacked by words, actions, emotionally, physically or sexually during this time will screw up every other step as adults. Their ability to: talk, love, trust, be confident, have relationships, have children, choose careers, have friendships, understand themselves, manage their emotions, and more.
I say this not from an armchair. I write this from deep personal experience. I myself, my husband, my closest friends, and more than 90% of my childhood friends were sexually and physically abused in their childhood. It completely ruined our lives. We don't speak of it. But we feel it and navigate it every day.
For this reason, my husband and I have dedicated the past 25 years - every single day of those 25 years - to serving children and teenagers. Not just our own, but those around us in the limited way we can. From gurukuli.com, Sunday schools, day schools, online events, teacher trainings, parenting courses, child protection classes, supporting our local police department and CPS services (they are overwhelmed!) Unfortunately it's not enough.
We have learned so very much in these 25 years. We have made plenty of mistakes too as we've learned. We keep learning. The more parents, the more educators, the more children we serve, the more we learn. We take full responsibility for our personal mistakes and the mistakes of our society. Please call us directly if you see discrepancies. We will do our best to hear and help.
But it's not enough!! It's not enough!! Apologizing, hearing, helping, It can never be enough. Anyone who has undergone the trauma of abuse in their childhood (I have!) will never be satisfied. It can never take away the years of pain they have to undergo.
So can we please each commit to stopping the abuse in the first place!!? We need each of you to help. This is what I urge you to do every single day of this life.
1. Talk to your children without yelling. Identify why you're upset and please go take a break. Please step away and take care of yourself first before it's unleashed on your kids.
2. Don't ever associate Krishna stuff with rules and punishment!!! Don't force your children to chant or do Bhakti.
3. Take a parenting course!
4. Make your children matter.
5. Call the cops if a child shares something with you.
6. Don't stop. I say it again. Call the cops immediately.
7. Be a mandated reporter. I am. My teams are.
8. Don't depend on your internal society to sort legal matters. Go to the local authorities who have years of training and very large resources.
9. Give money to your schools.
10. Support your teachers by volunteering.
11. Offer to pay for professional development courses for all your teachers and parents.
12. Trust what your kids say.
13. Give love love love to your kids in every scenario.
14. Spend unstructured time with them, without rules.
15. Play! Dance! Sing!
16. If they say someone has hurt them, BELIEVE THEM. And call the cops.
There is so much more. But start there.
There is a beautiful, incredible spiritual realm of bhakti that is beyond this world of pain. It is filled with children and teenagers, in Pure Divinity. Sri Goloka Vrindavan. It's a world of kids!
If we are to ever even consider stepping foot into Sri Krishna's transcendental realm, there is no way we can do that by ignoring the pleas of our children, grown and young.
Today I work with over 300 individuals in many different groups who are actively working to create systems of support for teachers, parents, and children inside and outside our bhakti society. These individuals are my guides, my muses, my support, my loves.
ITS STILL NOT ENOUGH. Please do the above. Please join us. Please help us.
And get my book and read it. It shares a divine Bhakti path for kids and those who care for them.
www.gopigita.com
www.tkgacademy.com
www.bhaktieducators.com
[PADA: Yep. It is time to say, enough already! And we should all unite for the common cause of preserving the society's children from harm. Agreed. Of course that means, identifying and ultimately removing the people who created the system that caused the harm. We cannot cure cancer without first removing the tumor. ys pd
angel108b@yahoo.com]
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