Srila Prabhupada's Departure (Gauri Das Pandit dasa)

Dear Prabhus,

Please accept my respectful obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Here are some of my memories of Srila Prabhupada's disappearance pastimes. He was like Grandfather Bhismadeva leaving his body so bravely because he is totally Krsna Conscious and took full shelter of Krsna from the very beginning of his transcendental life. The good news we know is that he lives on spiritually and that's what counts.

'Srila Prabhupada's Divine Departure'

By Krsna's mercy I was allowed to serve his pure devotee Srila Prabhupada during the last year he was physically present on this planet. My long cherished desire to personally serve Srila Prabhupada was finally fulfilled.

I went to Mayapura for the Gaura Pournima festival in 1977. Srila Prabhupada's health had started to deteriorate so he canceled a few of his scheduled classes and events. The devotees started to worry about and pray for the better health of Srila Prabhupada.

After the Mayapur Festival Srila Prabhupada went to Bombay. There I got the opportunity to serve Srila Prabhupada starting at that time as one of his guards. So many devotees and guests were always coming to see Srila Prabhupada who was always such a kind host giving knowledge and Prasadam to all who came.
Srila Prabhupada’s quarters in the new Temple were not complete so he asked Surabhi Swami, the devotee architect, to finish his quarters in a few days which he miraculously did to his eternal credit.

When Srila Prabhupada was brought to the elevator for the first trip up to his quarters on the top floor the elevator doors opened and a rat ran across the floor. Srila Prabhupada said, "Just see! The Temple is not even finished, and the rats are already here." Srila Prabhupada always had a good sense of humor and great Vaisnava Wit.

Tamal Krishna Maharaja was Srila Prabhupada's secretary at that time. I joined the movement for my first year in 1974 with him and Visnujana Swami. Knowing me from the RDTSP he asked me if I wanted to be a guard for Srila Prabhupada. I jumped at the chance. I didn't even get to see Srila Prabhupada for the first two weeks. Then an opportunity arose. I got to help carry a bookshelf into Srila Prabhupada's room. 

After putting it in place I quickly sat down in front of Srila Prabhupada. I wanted to relish the darshan of His Divine Grace as long as possible. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see the secretary in the doorway waving at me to come out, but I acted like I didn't see him, so I could stay longer. Then I realized my service being his guard at the door shouldn't be neglected so I offered my obeisances and went back to my service.

I got to meet Srila Prabhupada the first day I joined the movement along with the other Radha Damodar devotees, the day after the 1974 San Francisco Rathayatra. We all gave Srila Prabhupada a long stemmed rose and offered our obeisances to him. He was glowing and so charming as he received us all so nicely. After we all sat down he said, “You are all very bright faced and fortunate to come to Lord Chaitanya’s Movement. Now that you are fortunate; make others fortunate. Preach this message of Lord Chaitanya’s all over the world. (RC 7/7/74) 

Srila Prabhupada went on speaking to us for quite awhile encouraging us to share Krsna Consciousness all around the world and he said that would please him.
Srila Prabhupada always gave credit to his Guru Maharaja, Lord Chaitanya, Lord Krsna and the devotees. He was and is humility personified. He always showed us that preaching is the essence and his books are the basis of Krsna Consciousness.
Srila Prabhupada's physical health continued to deteriorate in Bombay. 

One nice life member named Kartikeya Mahadevia, a good friend of Srila Prabhupada's, advised him to go to Hrsikesh to regain his health. Srila Prabhupada considered it and decided to go. I asked the secretary if I could go and at first he said no. I asked again and again and finally asked if I paid my own way could I join them there. He said that would be alright. I was so happy. I sold a tent I had to get the money for the ticket. Then it was off to Hrsikesh and later Sri Vrindavan Dhama where my services increased dramatically to my heart's content.

Things were like heaven in Hrsikesh serving Srila Prabhupada. We were staying in a two story house that a life member let us use right on the bank of the Holy Ganges River. We had the best Jalebi maker (Vedic sweets) in the world, according to Srila Prabhupada, right across the street. We used to have fruit, yogurt and hot Jalebi's for breakfast. Srila Prabhupada said that hot Jalebi's could cure the common cold.

I used to enjoy taking Japa Walks along the Ganges at the foothills of the Himalayan Mountains. The forests are lush, filled with singing birds, and devotees. I used to also enjoy bathing in the rushing Holy Ganges River and ride a log back to Srila Prabhupada's house chanting all the way. Visnujana Swami was pulled by a boat in the water in Mayapur as he chanted the Holy names of the Lord ~ Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya…

One of my services was washing Srila Prabhupada’s clothes in the river. His clothes smelled so good like sandalwood and roses. Another service was doing Harinam Sankirtan in the Market Place just down from the house right on the Ganges. We would chant all afternoon until about 5pm then take the Kirtan back to the rooftop of our house. Then at 5:30pm Srila Prabhupada would give his darshan to the general public.

Although we did not advertise the darshan; the room was always full of interested guests every night. Srila Prabhupada preached to them in his unique and charming way. He used his great Vaisnava wit to charm the crowds and inspire them to take to Krishna Consciousness.

Srila Prabhupada was a perfect gentleman and a great and loving host, the topmost host! He always paid attention to everyone and made sure all of the guests received Prasadam. Almost every evening Srila Prabhupada talked about the Bhagavad Gita and how it should not be misinterpreted as it was. He gave it 'As It Is.'

When I first arrived in Hrsikesh Srila Prabhupada was having his darshan. I was standing at the door with some Prasadam sweets to give to the guests as they left. Srila Prabhupada saw a man waiting outside the screen door and told me to let him in. As I opened the door to let him in another person left the room at the same time. Srila Prabhupada asked me if I had given the man that left some Prasadam. 

I said I couldn't because they crossed paths. He looked over to his Secretary TKG, and said, “This boy is incompetent.” The secretary then told me to go downstairs and he would talk to me later. I was devastated! I had given my all to serve Srila Prabhupada and now I had displeased him and was rejected. I thought that my chance to serve him was over. 

I waded out into the Ganges and thought of drowning myself since I had been rejected by my guru. I thought of my first spiritual mentor Visnujana Swami and thought I could attone for my incompetence by following Visnujana Swami's example. As I was contemplating like that Tamal KG came down to the rivers edge and told me not to take it so seriously. He told me to go up and clean Srila Prabhupada's room. I was elated to know that I was going to get another chance to serve Srila Prabhupada.

Still feeling ashamed I started to sweep the floor. Srila Prabhupada was sitting behind his coffee table. When I looked over at him he smiled real nice at me. I was surprised and delighted and all my anxiety left me immediately. Then I smiled and happily went back to cleaning the house. The spiritual master never chastises us more than we can take, but that time it was close.

Srila Prabhupada also taught us each how to cook a basic meal of rice, dahl, subji and chapatis. The mercy of Srila Prabhupada was flowing like the Ganges and it still is!

Things were ecstatic in Hrisikesh, until that night when Srila Prabhupada first told us that he was going to leave his body. All of the sudden the great weather turned stormy with thunder and lightening. The power was going off and on all night long. At about 2:30am Upendra Prabhu came downstairs and woke us up and told us that Srila Prabhupada had been sitting up all night, and had just said that he was going to leave the planet! Srila Prabhupada said: "Tomorrow we will go to Vrindavan; better to die in Vrindavan."

We were all shocked! We knew Srila Prabhupada was sick but didn't think it was that serious; we thought and hoped he would recover. Pradyumna Prabhu and I were sent ahead to Vrindavan to make arrangements for Srila Prabhupada's arrival. We arrived in Vrindavan from Hrishikesh at about 4am the next day. We informed the temple President, Akshayananda Maharaja, of Srila Prabhupada’s statement that he was coming to Vrindavan to ‘leave his body’.

The Maharaja didn’t tell the devotees right away why Srila Prabhupada was coming, just that he was coming and he asked the devotees to clean Srila Prabhupada's quarters. The Holy dust of Vrindavan had blown all around.

Srila Prabhupada arrived at the temple at about 7am. At this point Srila Prabhupada’s health had deteriorated so much that he could no longer walk on his own. The devotees in Vrindavan, and around the world, were unaware of how serious it was. We brought a rocking chair out to the car to carry Srila Prabhupada. He asked to see the Deities first. We carried him into the temple room in front of Sri Sri Gaura–Nitai's alter.

Srila Prabhupada stood up offering his respectful obeisance's to Their Lordships. At that point someone took the chair away probably thinking he would walk the rest of the way. Srila Prabhupada stood there gazing at Sri Sri Goura-Nitai for a few moments as tears gliding down his cheeks. Then he moved back to sit in the chair and we had to catch him. The devotees looked at each other with grave concern. 

The chair was brought back and we carried Srila Prabhupada over to Sri Sri Krishna and Balarama. Again Srila Prabhupada stood up with tears in his eyes as he gazed at Their Lordships with love and devotion. We then went over to Sri Sri Radha Symasundara and Sri Lalita and Sri Visaka's alter. Again Srila Prabhupada rose up and gazed lovingly at the Deities with tears in his eyes. After a few moments he turned to us and said that he wanted to see all of the devotees in his room.

We carried Srila Prabhupada in the chair to his room and he took his seat at his desk. The devotees filled the room quickly and were crowded around the doors and windows trying to see and hear our divine spiritual master. When all the devotees settled in as much as possible Srila Prabhupada, looking very serious said,

"So I cannot speak. I am feeling weak. I was to go to other places like Chandigarh, but I canceled the program because the condition of my health is very deteriorating. So I preferred to come to Vrindavan. If death takes place, let it take here. So there is nothing new to be said. Whatever I have to speak, I have spoken in my books. Now you try to understand it and continue your endeavor. Whether I am present or not present, it doesn't matter. As Krsna is living eternally, similarly, the living being also lives eternally. But kirtiryasya sa jivah: 'One who has done service for the Lord lives forever.' So you have been taught to serve Krsna, and with Krsna we'll live eternally. Our life is eternal. Na hanyate hanyamane sarire. A temporary disappearance of this body, it doesn't matter. Body is meant for disappearance. Tatha dehantara-praptih. So live forever by serving Krsna. Thank you very much." (RC May 17, 1977)

At that point most of the devotees were crying. To me it still hadn't really sunk in yet that Srila Prabhupada was about to leave us physically. Philosophically we understood that Srila Prabhupada would live with us in his books etc. but we would so miss his physical presence.

Serving Srila Prabhupada personally in Bombay, Hrishikesh and Vrindavan were the best days of my life. Those days were numbered and unfortunately ran out. I had entered India on a three month tourist visa. I had received a three month extension already when I applied for another. It was denied. I considered just staying past my expiration date so I could remain with His Divine Grace who I knew was leaving the planet soon as he already said. 

I decided it would be better to go back to America and get another visa and then return. It was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make; leaving Srila Prabhupada's precious personal association. Srila Prabhupada always told us to follow the law; so I did. I had packed my belongings and had it loaded onto a horse drawn cart for my trip to the Mathura train station. I went to offer my obeisance's to Tamal Krishna Maharaja in the front reception room before leaving. He told me I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Srila Prabhupada. 

I said Srila Prabhupada knows everything and I didn't want to bother him. Tamal said to wait a minute and he entered Srila Prabhupada's main room. A moment later he stuck his head out of the door and told me to come in. This would be the last time I would see Srila Prabhupada before his divine departure for Goloka Vrindavan.

Upon entering Srila Prabhupada's room I offered my full dandavats. He was sitting behind his desk translating. Tamal K.G. said, "Here's Gauridasa Pandita, Srila Prabhupada; he has to go back to America now because his visa is expiring and the government wouldn't give him an extension." Srila Prabhupada looked at me with compassion and said, "Just see. I just train him up and the rascal government takes him away. Thank you very much for all of your service, you've been very sincere. You are welcome to be my personal servant anytime. So you go worship Radha Damodara and be happy."

I was ecstatic at the mercy of Srila Prabhupada, he said I could be his personal service anytime! I now had great hope and and I thanked Srila Prabhupada and offered my dandavats again and slowly backed out of his room. I paused at the door and took one last look at His Divine Grace and he nodded his head, like go ahead, it will be alright, then he continued to translate into his dictaphone. Writing his books was everything to Srila Prabhupada. And Krsna gave him the ability to do so day and night despite his deteriorating health.

I boarded the horse drawn cart and started my journey out of Vrindavan. The trip seemed to last forever as I lamented having to leave Srila Prabhupada's personal service and Sri Vrindavan Dhama. I became overwhelmed with emotion and memories of Srila Prabhupada and couldn't help getting very emotional and crying on the way out of Vrindavan to the Mathura Station and beyond.

After arriving in Gita-Nagari we got the news that Srila Prabhupada had decided to come to Gita- Nagari; to establish the Varna-ashrama system, so we were all ecstatic. The devotees were morose before, knowing that Srila Prabhupada was sick and maybe going to leave his body. Now we had renewed hope! The devotees were happy again and very enthusiastically preparing for Srila Prabhupada's arrival.

Devotees painted Srila Prabhupada's house and made all of the necessary arrangements. Seeing all of the renewed enthusiasm I wrote a letter to Srila Prabhupada who was in London at the time on his way to us in Gita-nagari. We got a response from his secretary, Tamal Krsna Maharaja, which Paramananda Prabhu, the temple president, read to all of the devotees since it was about Srila Prabhupada. 

The letter started out, "I read your letter to Srila Prabhupada as I found it very poetic and an excellent description of Gita-Nagari. When I told Srila Prabhupada you had written the letter; he remembered you very fondly." I was ecstatic to hear that. I was glad to hear that Srila Prabhupada remembered me fondly, as I remember him fondly. Those were the best words I've ever heard!

Out of the whole four months I served him, I only talked to him once in awhile. This was because right in the beginning of my service in Bombay, Srila Prabhupada said that the proper etiquette for the servant was to not talk to the spiritual master unless the spiritual master spoke first. He complained about some of the Indian life members who were too talkative and familiar with him at times. So from then on I didn't say much, but listened as much as possible.

Srila Prabhupada decided to return to Vrindavan from London. I wrote a letter and got permission to return to resume my service. I had to train up a new pujari before leaving Gita-Nagari first though. He turned out to be Radha Damodara Dasa! It took two weeks to train him up properly. The day he took over completely, I had chanted my japa outside the curtains, circumambulating Tulasi Devi and Srila Prabhupada on the Vyasasana. During that time we got a call from India, that Srila Prabhupada may be leaving his body soon. 

Then we got a call a little later confirming that he had indeed made his divine departure for Krsna Loka. His last words were Hare Krsna. I sensed something special was going on during my japa, as it was. Actually I didn't want to see that particular pastime. I thank Krsna for saving me from that. I know that Srila Prabhupada is as present as ever, for me now, and everyone who takes shelter of him.

Srila Prabhupada was sent by Krsna to show us the way back home. That's why he wrote his books most of the night and part of the days; to save us and future generations in this Golden Age of Lord Chaitanya.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada who lives on in his books, teachings Murti’s and pictures!

Glories to all of his followers, past, present and future!

He reasons ill Who says
that Vaisnavas die
When thou art living
still in sound
The Vaisnava dies to live!
And living tries
To spread the Holy Names around.
Hoping this meets you all well,
Your eternal servant,
Gauridasa Pandita Dasa