Sunday, September 18, 2016

Om Tat Satire (BBT Announcement)

BBT Announces New Project
By: Om Tat SATIRE dasa (This is a satire}

The Trustees of the Bhaktivedanta Book Trust are pleased to announce our next major project for the pleasure of the devotees. Through the magic of digital innovation we are now able to do almost anything in regard to preserving Srila Prabhupada’s image. This being the case, we will be editing all the video footage of His Divine Grace to conform to the truth “as we know it in ISKCON”. We are now able to seamlessly dub over the video images of Srila Prabhupada speaking, with the revised translations of the verses. 

Also, in forthcoming Prabhupada video footage, Srila Prabhupada will no longer be talking in broken English. In fact, he will no longer have a Bengali accent. Archival sound files from the estate of famed British actor Sir John Gielgud will repalce Srila Praphupada’s (let’s be honest) less than perfect English. With the use of digital airbrushing, we will even be able to remove cosmetic flaws in the image thereby eliminating the tendency of the audience to make offenses by dwelling on physical defects. Srila Prabhupada will now appear as he did when he was a young man. These corrections will make it easier for scholars to understand and accept the deep philosophical and spiritual insights of Srila Prabhupada’s teachings. It will also allow the general public to easily identify with him and see that he really was “one of us”.

In some scenes we’ll be inserting the image of important devotees who wanted to be there but couldn’t because of service obligations, or because they hadn’t been born yet (this technology was used extensively in the movie “Forrest Gump”). And here’s something really exciting: In many scenes we’ll be able to remove the image of His Divine Grace altogether and replace it with the image of one of his successor disciples! In this way we can keep the parampara current and vital. And if by chance a successor should meet with unfortunate circumstances, it’s relatively easy to replace his image with that of the next man in line. All glories to the latest digital technology!

Now that our work to restore and preserve Prabhupada’s words—Prabhupada VANI Safe Haven or “Prabhupada VANISH”—is nearly complete, we will be devoting the next several years to this video image restoration project—Electronic Restoration of the Acarya’s Sacred Embodiment or “Project ERASE”. The first phase of this project will take approximately 10 years to complete at an estimated cost of 14 million dollars. Your generous contribution will help preserve the image of gurudeva (whoever he may be) and allow a number of editors to avoid doing something really important, like distributing Srila Prabhupada’s books. As always, we swear to edit according to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (as we know it in ISKCON).

Srila Prabhupada trusted us. So should you.

Your trustworthy trustees of
the Bhaktivedanta Book Trust
—the most trusted name in publishing

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