Apology from Sanaka Rsi Das / ISKCON's Abuse Coronavirus Problem

PADA @ angel108b@yahoo.com

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https://abuse-within-organization.qualified-case.com/?

https://www.facebook.com/churchabusesupport/

An Overdue Apology BY: SANAKA RSI DAS / EUROPE 

I looked into my heart and I found envy, pervasive, harsh and unforgiving; it poisoned all my relations. This envy had compromised every aspect of my life.
In this letter I will first talk about some of the shortcomings / anarthas I recently came to identify in my heart, I then try to convey the necessity that my mistakes do not take away or negate the gravity of the child protection problem in ISKCON, and in closing I offer my apologies to all the devotees I have offended along the way.

A crucial, and perhaps overly ambitious part of this letter is my attempt to navigate the troubling and complex dilemma of offering genuine apologies, accepting that I am not the doer, and that reforming is Krsna's job; juxtaposed with the need to be socially and spiritually responsible and coherent in endeavouring to protect the most vulnerable.

[PADA: Yep. All sorts of "senior devotees" told me over the years, "Prabhu, why are you so upset with the child abuse problem / books changing problem / gurus taking drugs problem / embezzling problem / police raids problem / Srila Prabhupada poison complaint etc.? Don't you know Krishna is the doer, not you"? 

OK! So when one's toilet gets plugged up, one need not bother to fix it, because "Krishna is the doer," so surely He will fix one's broken down toilet plumbing? Hee hee. OK maybe not! Maybe Krishna wants you to "be the doer" for a change, and get off your cushy sofa and clean up your own toilet mess yourself? Just saying! 

This is foolishness, if we don't fix our society's child molesting process, then no one else will do it for us. It will simply destroy the society by destroying the new seedlings meant to eventually take over the society in future. If the farmer's crops are being destroyed over and over before they can ever grow, he will go bankrupt and eventually have no farm.

One mother wrote recently to us to say: PADA is just like the Chinese coronavirus doctors in China who were alerting people to the dangers of the virus, but who were ignored and swept under the rug, if not suppressed and arrested. If PADA alerts about the child abuse process were listened to in the early 1980s, we never would have had the catastrophic process widespread "to every nook and cranny" as more than one ex-kuli told us. 

So she said that allowing this child abuse "coronavirus" to spread has been a huge mistake on the part of everyone who did not think this is a big problem. And the people who spread this virus are still strutting around as if nothing is wrong, which means they never even understood how bad this virus is. 

And the people who did not help us check it also never understood how bad this virus is either. She said, its just the same as the China government's squashing dissenters who were trying to alert folks about the dangers of this virus. And the result was the same, squashing the dissenters made the virus problem ten million times worse than if it had been nipped at the start. Right!]  

Coronavirus-pada and associates 

SRD: Is it possible to emphasize the importance of child protection, without watering down my apology? Would I be escaping my responsibilities if I didn't speak out? I fear I haven't managed this dilemma very well.

Pure devotional service is not an external form or activity, rather it is a state of consciousness. The external actions constitute unalloyed service only when they manifest from a pure heart. When envy dwells in the heart there is not a lot of room for service, for they are incompatible. I cannot truly serve when I envy.

[PADA: What difference does it make if the fire department people are envious or not envious -- when they are putting out the fire in our house? Its not really relevant to the victims burning inside the house. When PADA is saying, the house is on fire and children are burning up inside, then people began to say, "Stop PADA! Don't put out that fire, first answer our questionnaire about your personal motives." Even our friend Kamadeva was very worried about our motives. 

OK fine, but worried about kids burning up in the house? Not so much. Yep, let the kids in the house burn to ashes, we need the fire department folks to fill out our "motivation" questionnaire before they can put out the fire. Really? So lets keep the fire burning, harass the fire department folks, and allow more kids to die in the fire? That is the plan?]  

SRD: I never really grasped the magnitude of the envy clouding my heart, nor did I ever fully acknowledge its existence, and therefore take responsibility for it. I now see that it was connected to a desire for pratistha; to be at the centre of attention, to be noticed, to be recognized. This envy has been directed both, towards those who did not put me in the centre of their attention (competition with peers), and towards those who are recipients of attention and worship (my superiors). 

Except that to be worshipped and to be at the centre of attention is the place of God, and perhaps it is only His authentic representatives that can be in the centre, and worthy recipients of worship and attentions without compromise, because such representatives know that the worship is ultimately an offering to Krsna and not to their false ego.

[PADA: Even the karmi police, courts and media know that the child molesting issue in ISKCON has been an out of control coronavirus for the society. This is not really about false ego -- or not false ego -- its about taking a stand on a moral issue, and saving people from a fatal viral attack.]

In truth I have been allowed to see that I am envious of God, that I want to be God… I was also blessed to see the extent of my identification as a victim. Seeing myself as the victim was attractive, because I believed it gave me the right to seek revenge. As a victim I did not have to take responsibility for my predicament; for my life. What I didn't see was that the price I was paying was my very life, because as a victim I was also powerless to change. Whereas when I stand fully responsible for my life and my karma, then I can begin to choose and direct the course of my life.

[PADA: OK well that is also what Narayan Maharaja said, the children are getting their karma. Who authorized the GBC and their cheer leaders like NM to dish out karma to children? And this reminds me of my friend here who announced to me he started eating hamburgers, telling me "the cow has the karma to become a hamburger, so there is no karma for me eating them now." Ummm, nope. 

Even if it is "my karma" to be killed and eaten, that does not give someone else a licence to kill me and eat me. This is called karma chakra, the victimization of another produces a new round of karma. And to say that the ISKCON children have had bad karma is also not a very good advertisement for the society? Yep, our Vaikuntha children are simply by-products of bad karma. Thanks for the good advert pal! 

Neither does this help when we say, we helped spread the coronavirus, and when our children died from it, this was "their bad karma." OK fine, but wait a minute, don't you also "get bad karma" of helping in spreading the virus?]

One of the names of Allah is "The Punisher". And, in the Old Testament God says "Vengeance is mine, and I will repay". There is a fine line between raising awareness about a problem and pursuing personal revenge, a line that I crossed too many times over the years. It is a subtle yet substantial difference, that hinges on the intention that motivates action. Because a consciousness of pure service is absent from my heart, what externally may have appeared to be commendable and selfless, was in fact contaminated by ulterior motives. In this way, even my most noble efforts become corrupted.

In truth, I (ab)used and exploited the suffering of these children for my own motives. I used the righteous cause of child protection to disguise and further my ignoble agendas of 'righting wrongs', exacting revenge, distributing punishment; to be the hero, the saviour and to be at the centre of attention. I used something as sacred as their suffering, to serve my desire for vindication.

[PADA: Great, but we still have Dhanurdara swami walking around giving PTSD symptoms to his ex-child victims -- and some of the mothers of said child victims. A few of these mothers told me recently they feared making waves against Dhanurdara swami even now, because they feared for their physical safety, or for the safety of their ex-kuli children. Women and children have to live in fear of their physical safety for reporting a child beater posing as a guru in their midst? And people have to live in fear of reporting the coronavirus?

What kind of society makes mothers fearful to report a child beater is being worshiped as a guru in their society, because they are afraid of that society harming them, or perhaps worse? What kind of society is that? That means Sanaka Rsi was only partly fixing the issue despite all his efforts. This means the child abuse coronavirus is still being spread -- and the main "virus spreaders" are still sitting in big seats of authority in ISKCON, still spreading the virus and so are its enablers etc.] 

I believed that the choices, mistakes and sinful activities committed by some devotees gave me a free pass; the right to lash out, dehumanize, abuse, vilify and humiliate them publicly. All the while focusing on other people's sins, I was blindsided to my own. The campaign, that at the beginning appeared like a worthy crusade to fight evil, transformed me from the role of the victim into that of the perpetrator of the very evil I set out to fight. Thus my efforts turned out to be a disturbance; often ineffective and counterproductive, and finally offensive in nature.

I cannot overstate my shock and disbelief when I was finally given to see my motives; I am horrified. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of my objective (or perhaps that was never clear), and in attempting to punish those who had wronged, I stepped outside of my jurisdiction, into that of God. For, whereas child protection is everyone's duty and righteous, revenge is neither.

Child abuse is the ugliest manifestation of the consciousness of exploitation that is symptomatic of the conditioned jiva; it is perhaps the darkest corner of Kali Yuga. Blinded by ignorance and pride, I believed that I could fight and 'fix' this infinite evil from the same state of conditioned ego consciousness (where I am the doer), that caused it in the first place. But I wasn't fighting this injustice or that perpetrator, in actuality I was fighting human evil; Kali Yuga personified.

[PADA: Right, same thing Gaura Govinda maharaja told me, Kali Yuga has taken the top posts of ISKCON. Great, so we should simply allow that process? And allow children to be victimized? And allow people even now to accept Dhanurdara as a guru, because we should not fight injustice. Srila Prabhupada says if we allow injustice, we are equal culprits. And if these leaders are Kali personified, and we allow them to manage our religion and be the gurus of our religion, where is our love for the religion? Yep, we handed off our religion to the personality of Kali, good idea right? Any questions? 

Even a Berkeley policeman said, you mean everyone just walked away from the Krishna religion, and left us police to make 72 arrests in one year at their temple? Where is their love for the religion if they placed the job of controlling crimes in their religion to -- us police?]

Perhaps it is only the person who has been called to serve in this capacity, and is uniquely empowered for this purpose who has transcended any ulterior motives that will manifest the pure consciousness of service, needed to reverse the onslaught of Kali Yuga, without being compromised.

So long as I identify as the doer, I do not have a fighting chance. In fact, any efforts may bind me deeper in the endless dark web of guna and karma. If, however, by some exceptional Grace I am able to surrender my desire to be the doer and truly become an instrument in service, then suddenly the impossible may become easy…

"Upon hearing this, Satyarāja said, "How can I recognize a Vaiṣṇava? Please let me know what a Vaiṣṇava is. What are his common symptoms?" (verse 105)
Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu replied, "Whoever chants the holy name of Kṛṣṇa just once is worshipable and is the topmost human being". (Verse 106) Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu then finally advised, "One who is chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra is understood to be a Vaiṣṇava; therefore you should offer all respects to him." (Verse 111) (Madhya Lila chapter 15)

By the mercy of Vaishnavas, the heart is gradually purified even by a motivated and impure offering. It would appear, that perhaps by some inconceivably good fortune, at least some Vaishnavas, in their infinite compassion, may have nonetheless accepted my offensive and contaminated offering, and blessed me, thus opening my eyes. I think this was my saving Grace.

I wish to honour the hope and perfection of the very unexpected Grace and Glory that somehow I encountered, through, or in the midst of, my grave mistakes. When I first decided to actively focus on child protection, I had some idea of my shortcomings, but I never imagined the extent and true nature of my ulterior motives. I had some awareness that I would be threading on thin ice, and that many devotees would come to be offended. 

After much prayer and deliberation, rightly or wrongly, I concluded that, I would have rather gone to hell for speaking out, trying to imperfectly serve these children, than for remaining silent. I like to hope that along with my personal motives, I also had a little genuine desire to serve. At the time I believed that the benefits of my flawed attempts, would justify and outweigh the devastation they would cause, and I still hope I made the right choice.

[PADA: A number of victims told PADA, Sanaka is among the main persons helping reveal our plight to help us. Without him, we would have almost no voice or representation. So the victims should not have any representation? There should be no doctors trying to cure the ISKCON abuse coronavirus? Well that explains why it has spread "to every nook and corner" as more than a few victims have testified to PADA. The doctors are few, and the disease is everywhere, then what?]

These recent revelations are reassuring, for they give me great hope in the Grace of Krsna and the Vaishnavas.

[PADA: The recent revelations are -- that the GBC guys are more dogged and determined to give a place of worship to these "Kali chela" deviants like Dhanurdhara, and even people like Kirtanananda and Gunagrahi, by giving them a samadhi. And they are also promoting Devamrita, Kuladri, Umapati, Radhanath and many other former perp lovers' club members from New Vrndavana. The people who originally created the whole coronavirus abuse problem, are the same people we want -- to cure and fix it?] 

This is the most difficult letter I have ever written. On the one hand there was the obvious resistance from my false-ego identity, fighting for self-preservation, but a greater struggle was the awareness that this letter could be easily misconstrued and misused. I am concerned that that it may be perceived as a recant on the importance and necessity to raise child protection standards in ISKCON, and misinterpreted to mean that we are not faced with a grave and urgent problem.

[PADA: Right, what difference does it make if the fire department people think they are the doers or not the doers, they just have a job to do and they do it. And so should we.] 

I am not advocating to refrain from endeavouring to protect children until the heart is free from envy and other anarthas, I am simply suggesting caution. I do not intend to discourage anyone from speaking out against child abuse, and I am certainly not condoning it, or suggesting that ISKCON should overlook the social responsibility of deterring perpetrators and holding them accountable.

I apologize because along the way I made many egregious offences and mistakes. There are two separate issues here: the first is that my mood and consciousness were mostly ill motivated, inappropriate and therefore offensive. The second, but far more important is that, the general attitude and culture that underpins child abuse in ISKCON, which can be briefly described as: "having too high a threshold of tolerance, and inadequate in addressing and deterring child abuse", remains a pressing and current problem; based on facts.

[PADA: Correct, so the issue still needs to be addressed whether we think we are the doer or not is not the primary concern.]

The enduring devastation and pain, suffered by successive generations of Vaishnava children is often exacerbated by the readiness of our society to 'forget, forgive' and minimize. This suffering is very real, and whilst from the absolute perspective one can argue that it was our karma, it is nonetheless problematic when, in the name of forgiveness, a spiritual society honours perpetrators and entrusts them to uphold and represent righteousness, and to be role models for our schools and education.

[PADA: Right, the problem persists, and is actually getting worse when we consider that deviants are being buried in samadhis, to perpetuate their worship for indefinite time to come.]

When it comes to child protection there is a need for consistency, for an unambiguous and clear stance on the part of ISKCON throughout. The official ISKCON Child Protection Manual, which has been duly ratified by the GBC, thus making it ISKCON law states:

"Thus, for ISKCON, the protection of children is paramount … The GBC directly, through its influence within ISKCON and its participants, and particularly through the ISKCON Central Office of Child Protection (CPO), is committed to make every reasonable effort to protect children and to prevent abuse of children".

[PADA: Seeing child beaters walking around with many followers in ISKCON, and worse -- being patted on the back by big ISKCON leaders, is child abuse right out of the gate. Teaching children to worship pedophiles in samadhis is also child abuse, ad infinitum.]

Whilst the word 'paramount' is unambiguous, what exactly constitutes 'reasonable' is open to interpretation.

But at any rate, the reality on the ground is a different story altogether. The 2018 official investigative report on the Vrindavana Gurukula states that during the 73 days of observation covered by the report, 62 cases of child abuse were reported. The abuse was almost evenly divided with 30% sexual, 30% physical and 30% emotional / neglect. The report also raised concerns of under-reporting, and gives reasons why the actual figures are likely to be higher.

[PADA: OK but the ISKCON gurukula system currently teaches children that God's successive acharyas are often illicit sex with men, women and children deviants. Again, to teach children that God's successors are often debauchees is abuse in itself aka spreading the virus.]

The Vrindavana Gurukula has been under the same management for the past 12 years. While this is the most recent report I have seen, it is by no means unusual or out of the ordinary. In the last decade there have been dozens of similar reports describing all categories of severe and extensive child abuse; it is a persistent problem. What are the actual figures of the total number children that have been abused over these past 12 years in the Vrindavana Gurukula alone? How about over the last 50 years?

Despite continued protests, the oldest Gurukula in Mayapur remains under the direction and influence of a person who has a lengthy record of child abuse spanning over 4 decades.

[PADA: OK so CPO rules, and / or going to the GBC with protests and petitions doesn't work, we just need to expose them. And that is working more and more, we keep getting more and more new folks on board saying, "hey we have got to stomp out this abuse coronavirus and its aiding and abetting process, before it kills everything"!]

I'm always puzzled when I see high ranking ISKCON leadership make far greater efforts to defend the perpetrators of child abuse than they ever made to protect their victims... It is also not uncommon to see them fraternizing in public with known, serious offenders.

[PADA: Again, that is re-victimizing the victims, to see the GBC's big leaders "fraternizing" with the child abusers. It also speaks to their whole "good ole boys" culture which has been the problem from the get go.]

The optics and implications of these realities, are factors that continue to threaten the safety of our children and tarnish the Hare Krishna movement. There is no escaping from the fact that the public interactions of our leaders represent a statement of the ethos of the entire society. Arguably their actions exert a far greater influence on the values of the society than policies and resolutions ever will (BG 3-2).

[PADA: Yes, the GBC has made "good friends" with the whole Kirtanananda regime leadership, despite knowing New Vrndavana has been a giant criminal and child abuse empire. To embrace the same leadership which gave ISKCON the black eye of being a MAFIA style crime family regime is -- continuing to give Krishna a bad name. Never mind we know ex-children who get PTSD symptoms simply seeing Radhanath strut around. Why would we want to re-victimize victims? The folks who gave our society's children the abuse coronavirus and killed many of them, still need to be worshiped as the hero messiahs of our society? What kind of society is that?]  

At the time of writing this letter the ISKCON GBC still only invests about $10,000 USD annually (this hardly reflects the 'paramount' importance of child protection) to fund the operations of the international Child Protection Office throughout the world.

A significant increase in funding for the CPO is arguably the most urgent and important step required at present. There are many countries with ISKCON affiliated schools, such as Russia and in Latin American that have never been visited by CPO staff.

[PADA: The GBC does not even follow CPO rulings, the CPO is simply a feel good program to make it appear as is they are taking action. Meanwhile, they are teaching children that God's messiahs are often debauchees every single day.]

For me it is heart-breaking to see how, although the extent and severity of the suffering of our children is relatively well known, there doesn't seem to be the collective will necessary to do what it takes to adequately address the problem... The abuse of these Vaishnava children is not treated as a priority!

[PADA: So you should continue to make it a priority, because hardly anyone else even knows there is a problem, never mind how to address it.]

The problem is old and complex, and only a concerted, collective effort, can hope to tackle it effectively. It is so old that it seems to have become almost 'normalized', many devotees I have spoken to, that are aware of the problem, have come to accept it with resignation; as an unavoidable reality.

The issues mentioned above need to be addressed urgently, and they constitute real problems regardless of my motives. The alternative is of course to pretend that the problems don't exist...

The story of Jagai and Madhai is significant. On one hand Mahaprabhu showed no mercy, forgiveness or leniency; He was ready to kill them for assaulting a vaishnava. On the other we have the exceptional and unconditional forgiveness of Nityananda Prabhu.

Is not our place to 'forgive' those who have abused others! This is not compassion! We are NOT to hide behind some misplaced notion of forgiveness, and look the other way while Vaishnava children are at risk!

Perhaps we are also on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, and from the absolute perspective everything is perfect, the conclusion is foregone, and though He does not need our participation to ensure His intended outcome, we are the ones who have the necessity to be engaged in His service. 

We are not to escape our responsibility, but rather pray and strive for the ability to fight for the protection of these children (serve dharma) with a pure heart, unattached to the results, unencumbered by fear, ulterior motives or sentimentality. Trusting that Krsna will guide our steps and protect us from the gravest dangers. Such noble service would undoubtedly be truly glorious and beneficial for ourselves and the world at large!

This letter is an offering of my own blunders, an analysis of the pitfalls I encountered, and the imperative necessity to pray for Guidance and protection; it is also a testament to the greatness of the mercy of the Vaishnavas. It is an invitation to exercise the highest degree of introspection and integrity in service, and to be mindful of ulterior motives.

I have offered some suggestions, but I do not claim to have the solutions, to address the extremely complex, yet all too often neglected, service of child protection in ISKCON. The complexity of the problem does not, however, diminish its utmost importance, nor does it relieve us of our duty to endeavour to address it responsibly, both as individuals and as a society.

In closing, I wish to acknowledge, that driven by ulterior motives, out of ignorance and envy, I acted and spoke out of turn, I used the suffering of Vaishnava children to further my personal agendas. I offended thousands of Vaishnavas, including the children I set out to serve. 

I have offended so many that I do not even know who they all are. I pray that you will accept my inadequate and flawed apology. I fall at the lotus feet of all the Vaishnavas that I have directly offended, and of all the Vaishnavas that have felt offended by my actions, and the disturbance I caused; I beg for your forgiveness, for it is my only hope.

Please forgive me!

Initially I wanted to include the long list of all the Vaishnavas I know I have personally offended. But I decided against it, for in doing so I would come to offend many more. I expect that some will welcome this letter and others will think that I have gone mad. But the truth is, I have finally found my sanity.
Aspiring to serve the Vaishnavas with a grateful and honest heart

February 13th 2020, Appearance day of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur

Sanaka Rsi das

[PADA: You have done a lot of good work and it has been seen as a good thing by many victims, as various victims have told us. As for naming victims, we have to avoid that since that is not going to help them. As for naming perps and their enablers, we have been doing that for years. 

Our web sites name lots of names and give specific examples of the leaders and others participation, acquiescing, or mis-handling the child abuse process. If we don't "name names," we simply set up another round of victims of the process because innocent people won't be aware of who is spreading the virus around.

Unfortunately, if we don't have any "named" victims and "named" perps, we have no crimes to report. That is what happened in Haight Ashbury in the early 1970s. Criminals were getting out of jail and moving to the Haight, because the hippies would barely report crimes to "the dirty cops." 

So there was a bunch of muggings, robberies, rapes, open drug deals, stabbings, and who knows what else, because no one wanted to "name names." That simply makes a huge magnet for crooks, criminals, sexual predators, molesters, drug dealers, and bad actors -- as it has done in ISKCON. Of course eventually the city made a big new budget for 25 new cop cars and 100 new cops to patrol the Haight, and that helped a lot. ISKCON has not done anything similar.

Of course as soon as PADA started "naming names" of perps and their GBC enablers in the mid 1990s, some GBC thugs wrote threats of "blowing up" our little 98lbs. lady who managed PADA's little internet company at the time. She said, "These guys are arrogant **s-holes" and she would not stop our service. She totally understood what PADA was doing and she supported. And over the years various people have tried to hack, whack and harass our expose process.  

That is also why the Sanat (Steve and Linda Voith) / Mukunda UK / Prahlad UK (Paul Coats?) / Dayalu Nitai his "Hare Krishna Community" Jaipur people started a petition to have PADA removed from the internet. We cannot "name the names" of their perp pals and their GBC child molesting enabler friends. We have to remove anyone who exposes their coronavirus abuse process, so they can make a new set of children victims who are unaware of the virus problem. We need to stop the people who are trying to stop the spread of the coronavirus, and help the people spreading the disease. Great, then we wonder why it has spread? 

Are they starting even one petition to remove even one perp from anywhere in the universe? Well nope, the perps and their enablers get to stay in their perp post, but the coronavirus doctors and abuse exposers have to be removed. Then they make pretend they wonder why there are so many molesting problems going on under their jack boots? Sulochana called these people "boot lickers of the butt busters." 

And Sulochana was saying the same type things, this child abuse process is a severe disease and ISKCON will either cure it, or get killed by it. So these GBC ilk folks all along wanted to remove the doctors who are trying to stop the disease, but apparently they will not start a petition to remove even one of the contaminated people spreading the disease.

Anyway, there is good news and and bad news. There are more and more folks aware of the child abuse coronavirus, and they are helping us protest in various ways. Then there are the people who spread the virus and enabled the virus to spread, and they are still strutting around like nothing wrong has happened. 

Overall, there are signs that progress is being made because the GBC is running out of rabbits to pull out of their hat to explain all this, and more and more people are catching on. And that is why our blogs and sites keep getting more and more hits and viewers. Anyway, next time someone says, "Hey watch out for the child abuse coronavirus attack," maybe they will be taken more seriously, next time. Lets hope so, for the sake of children everywhere. 

Hare Bol! ys pd]    

Coronavirus-pada enabler

Yes, we need our little kiddies to worship Jayapataka's:

Illicit sex with men, women and children "guru successors to God."

Then we wonder why ISKCON is in trouble?

Don't worry, GBC is in charge! 

http://krishna1008.blogspot.com/2017/05/sanaka-rsi-replies-bhakti-vikas-swami.html

http://krishna1008.blogspot.com/2019/02/cost-of-silence-ii-sanaka-rsi-about.html

http://krishna1008.blogspot.com/2019/02/discussion-of-windle-turley-vs-iskcon.html

http://krishna1008.blogspot.com/2019/10/re-dayalu-nitai-and-hkc-jaipur-update.html

Open Letter To Dhanurdhara Swami

by Shakuntala devi dasi

May 22, 2006

I regret to inform you that your former gurukula student, Ananda, just shot himself in the head last Thursday. Remember what you did to him so long ago …it may not be alive to you any more but I assure you it was still very much alive to him… At his funeral the people in his life who were not devotees mentioned repeatedly that much of his unhappiness and suffering in life was attributed to his upbringing. Over and over I heard this from strangers as I slunk further in my chair not wanting to be associated with "them", those people from his past…you. This was still very much alive in his life.

When you came to Los Angeles for a meeting regarding your history as an ashram teacher some years ago, Ananda was there. He chose not to enter the room because he did not feel he would be able to control the rage he felt against you and you are lucky because he is a decorated Gulf War veteran. He stood across the street instead, fist clenched for an hour, staring in your direction full of rage.

You came up in a meeting last year where ISKCON leadership was promising us that you are no longer in good standing, but others said that you "did your time, you tried to make amends with the past." They quoted the sloka that states a devotee even if he commits an abominable act if he comes back to his position of devote and chants the holy name he should be forgiven. 

Where was that sloka when you had your fist to Ananda's face beating him repeatedly, till blood came from his ears, he was a vaishnava too. With your fists, you pounded down his spiritual creeper by teaching him to equate Krsna with being abused. Have you checked in with your former gurukula students lately—your very "first" disciples? Do you know that others are also dead? 

Those who are not dead are on medication, or medicate their pain with various forms of intoxication. Many are not even able to function well in society because you have emotionally crippled them. Day in and day out they look those scars in the face and deal with their emotional disfiguration while you frolic on parikram in the holy dham giving lectures and caring for your disciples. It may be easy for you to move on and leave the past behind … but who knows who of your former students may at this very moment have a gun to their head? 

Where do they have to turn??? Not Krsna…not after what you taught them about Krsna consciousness when they were scared orphans left under your protection. And people have the nerve to criticize them for not coming to the temple anymore, or for medicating their pain with intoxication, "Oh they are in maya." What choice did you leave them? 

You robbed them of their Krsna consciousness and left them with emotional and spiritual scars and then laugh that they "don't have it together" or that they "eat meat", or wonder to yourself why they don't just "chant more japa"……..Would YOU ? Could YOU? Will YOU? 

We believe in karma prabhu. What lurks in your future? You have not made amends with these souls? What can you do now to serve these vaishnavas who, with their pure childlike souls, were undoubtedly more elevated than you at the time? What of the mad elephant offence of crushing the spiritual spark of these devotees? For your safety in this lifetime and the next, I ask you to make amends with these devotees. 

Take responsibility and fall at the feet of each and every single one of them individually even if they spit on you like you are Jad Bharat. Do this for them because who else may be teetering on this same edge like Ananda? Prabhu, how much more blood do you want on your hands? How dare you accept worship! You must first break this cycle of suffering while you still have the opportunity to rectify your own mistakes. Not with a generic letter like the one you impersonally sent out to please your friends at the GBC. 

It never reached Ananda. As a so called personalist, go person to person and beg each of your former students for their forgiveness. Give them this closure. Please see what can be done to stop their suffering.

I know that you are not a purely evil person and I know that today you lead a very different life than you did long ago when you were an ashram teacher. I have never been harmed by you personally on the contrary I have actually had a few cordial interactions with you before I knew you were "that" Dhanudara. And though you have not hurt me directly, my own faith is attacked by the suffering my friends have endured. How can I have faith in the spiritual integrity of our leadership, our society, what to speak of you personally if you are still being worshiped and keeping ISKCON disciples without receiving the forgiveness of each and every single one of these devotees, whose lives you have devastated. 

You lost your opportunity to make amends with Ananda. Let's celebrate his life by allowing his loss to become a catalyst for change. He has reminded us all that even though the court case has been settled this is not over yet. We must end this cycle. If not for your spiritual evolution then at least for the sake of the others involved. So go find your students chewing on a burger at McDonalds and beg their forgiveness. Leave no stone unturned. And just imagine what could take place in this society if by your example we each begin taking responsibility by asking those we have wronged for their forgiveness.