Vrinda Rani dasi: The leaves are falling from the trees, dry, brown, and crackly. The winds of Time are blowing hard, changing the entire landscape. Wrinkles show on my hands and face, and gray hairs fall from my head. And I weep. Tears of sorrow for the mass destruction of my Master’s movement.
I feel so helpless. And I ask: What can I do? What more can I do? Is there anything, anything at all, that a small soul can do? I pray. I ask for guidance, and the tears of empty sorrow engulf me.
“Mor Senapati Bhakta.” “I will send my Commander-In-Chief,” the Lord declared. “Even if they flee to foreign countries, I will send my Senapati Bhakta to bring them back!” And he did. He sent Srila Prabhupada to the most materialistic country in the world, to bring us back. But he was with us such a short time.
O, we rejoice for his visit. We thank God everyday for the great good fortune of having seen and served his lotus feet. No doubt we are delivered by this divine gift. Yet, what of the world? The future generations? What of the great movement of Lord Chaitanya that started so humbly in a tiny New York storefront, yet spread to the ends of the Earth? What of the Hare Krishna Maha-mantra that caressed the Earth planet in the airwaves? Where has it gone?
Kali’s chiefs set to work on the movement as soon as our Senapati Bhakta left this world. They mismanaged, maneuvered, manipulated, and ultimately mutilated the beautiful movement started by our beloved Gurudev. Is this the course of history? Must it happen again and again? Are we but another tragedy, like the former Gaudiya Math?
On Srila Prabhupada’s Vyaspuja, we read some of Srila Prabhupada’s poems appealing to his God-Brothers. These excerpts from his poem “Viraha-Astaka” are certainly applicable today:
“O Master! If all of your disciples would sit down and carefully consider these things, then what nice preaching everyone could do together!
“That was your explicit order given to us–that everyone should work together to propagate the preaching mission while remaining immersed in your instructions.”
“But if everyone simply imitates your exalted position, then there will only be a contrary result. As long as this pretense continues, there will only be utter failure.”
“Merely having a festival of flowers and fruits does not constitute worship; those who serve the instructions of the spiritual master actually worship him.”
“By serving the spiritual master’s instructions the disciples are empowered with the transcendental sound vibration. O Godbrothers, please return to this standard and give up your false pride.”
“Once the greatly learned man known as Kalidas Naga had openly challenged our master in the public assembly by saying:”
“Kali’s mission is keeping the entire world falsely contented with material pleasures–why then are your disciples keeping the essential message of Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu locked up in a cage?”
“Oh, shame! Shame! my dear Godbrothers–aren’t we embarrassed by what we’re doing? In the manner of mundane businessmen we deceptively increase the numbers of our own disciples!”
“Our spiritual master had told us to go out and preach! Let the neophytes remain inside the temples and simply ring the bells.”
“Just open your eyes and see the tragedy that has arisen. Everyone has become a sense enjoyer and has given up preaching.”
“Within the surface of this planet there is another layer of the earth’s crust. But the power of sound is a matchless force that can penetrate right through the earth.”
‘From sea to sea, crossing the earth, penetrating the universal shell, all of us should unite in purpose and flood the lands with the inundation of Krishna conscious preaching”
“You have become renunciates, O Godbrothers, and so you indeed renounce everything. But if you also give up the order of your spiritual master, then what kind of renunciation is that?”
“One who tries to enjoy the assets of his spiritual master (guru-bhogi) and one who renounces his guru’s order (guru-tyagi) are two kinds of useless persons. But one who actually serves his spiritual master (guru-sevi) will clearly understand all these things.”
“There is only one all-opulent Supreme Lord; therefore, if one’s personal opulence increases, a true saintly person rejects it, knowing it to be the cause of a dangerous position in the material world.”
“Your hoarding of money, O Godbrothers, is the cause of material sense gratification. This meaningful statement was spoken by Srila Prabhupada (Bhaktisiddhanta) himself.”
“Give up your personal wealth for the cause of preaching. Sit down together and make a special effort to plan for its practical use.”
“Srila Prabhupada personally gave that command as his final instruction to us. Please take great care to carry out his wish by adopting various preaching modes.”
“Otherwise your efforts are in vain and all your results will be spoiled. Be very carefulin this regard, or later you will regret everything.”
“‘One must work for the benefit of all living beings.’” That is Mahaprabhu’s teaching. This activity is the storehouse of happiness in the present life as well as the next.”
“According to this command, much work has fallen into your hands, O Godbrothers, so please gather together in a unified effort and see that it is done!”
These sad cries of our own Srila Prabhupada were composed by him in 1958, long before his first journey to America. Yet just see how applicable they are to our situation today! Just see how he cried for his Master’s Gaudiya Math, as we also cry for the loss of our Master’s ISKCON!
Both have been undone by their leaders, overthrown by maya, and become scattered particles of self-satisfied impotent “zones.” We had great hopes for our children, and their children. But they were abused and destroyed, driven away by greedy leaders hungry for worship and power.
What now are we to do? What is our Fate? Are we not responsible for this tragedy? For allowing this to happen? If someone doesn’t protest a sinful act, he gives his silent approval, and is thus also responsible for that sinful action. If we witness a wrongdoing, and fail to protest, the scriptures say that we also become responsible for that wrong! If this is true, then we are also to blame! Are we complacently sitting drinking our morning herb tea and watering our gardens, while the wolves destroy all that which our Gurudev built up? I ask, what can be done?! Will he come again to clean up the mess, or will Mahaprabhu send others to reinstate his Sankirtan movement?
Oh, it will go on–of this there is no doubt! Lord Chaitanya’s prophecies will come to pass. Kali flinches at the mere sound of Mahaprabhu and His Mahamantra! But how will it go on? And what are we to do? What are we to do, those of us wounded, sometimes fallen, warriors on this battlefield of Kali Yuga?
Ah, we were so young and bright, so alive, we gave our all to our beloved Master, our Senapati Bhakta! We danced to his tunes and sang our hearts out! We experienced love, real love, for the first time in eons! We fell at his feet and offered our hearts to him — not only our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our time, our everything! And we were happy, so happy! Then suddenly, he left us. He left our mortal vision. And the trials began.
Salem’s witchcraft trials are eclipsed by the intrigues that then pounded our movement. Ambition, pride, and desire gave way to cruelty, deceit and even murder. ISKCON became a no-man’s land, a landscape of manipulation, leaders jockeying for power, prestige, and position. We fled away to the caves, holding tight to our memories of what was. And from a safe vantage point, we watched them systematically destroy everything Srila Prabhupada stood for — but keep the same label on it, hoping no one would notice.
And use the attractive features — the temples, the Deities, the wealth, even the Holy Names — to gather followers and carve out their feudal empires. And when those unfortunate “disciples” discovered the ruse, they were thrown away like flashlight batteries, only to be replaced by more.
They said they were the “Chosen.” And where are they now, these “Chosen?” The “Chosen” are gone, because they were never chosen by anyone but themselves! Handpicked by the cruel fingers of Kali. But then, I ask, had they not fallen away, failed in their guru masquerade, would anyone even remember our Srila Prabhupada, our Senapati Bhakta?
He was quickly pushed aside, shoved under the carpet, and his disciples driven away. The so-called chosen had to be exposed so that innocent people would not be misled. Those few disciples who remained in ISKCON suffered horribly, sometime losing their faith and leaving Krishna completely. Those who watched the horror from afar suffered with feelings of anger and helplessness.
And they continue to suffer, even now.
And now, over 30 years have passed. We are becoming old. Many of us have left this earth realm. Our children flounder in the world, searching for jobs in a materialistic society. Few survived the Spiritual Holocaust of 1978. Even Srila Prabhupada’s books were burned by the fires of the Holocaust, and are now mere charred remains of what they were before. And it continues. The changes, the edits, the “improvements.” Kali’s fingers of destruction.
There is no need for names. They know who they are. The Judas amongst us will be tried at the time of death, and they will enter hell worlds far worse than we can imagine. And we will all lament with compassion, “Oh, Prabhu, if only you could have served Srila Prabhupada without the cruel ghost of false ego, and the putrid stench of power and prestige!” But we cannot save them from their fate. Only Mahaprabhu can do that. The tormented tragedy of sin sits on their heads: Kali’s Chela, the children of Kali, Her sentries and chiefs.
And so, we weep. We fall on our knees and cry out, “Oh Srila Prabhupada, Oh Mahaprabhu, what can we do? What can we do? Is there anything at all? We are so small and so helpless. Please, we have only a short time remaining in this world. Please give us some hope. Give us some instruction: “Do this, do that…” Or, please, let us meet him again, our beloved Master.
In some other universe, in some other Kali Yuga, please let us try again. Let us be led like dancing dogs behind the lotus feet of your Senapati Bhakta. Let us try again. Here, we have failed miserably. But we want to try again. Please show us your compassion.”
What will happen here, on this earth planet, in this universe? Will he come again, or is he busy elsewhere? Will he send others to reinstate what was so famously begun?
Our hearts are weary, my Lord. There is quarrel and wrangling everywhere we look. They fight over minute details as if it were a fight between the Yankees and the Red Sox! We lack adhikar, we Westerners; we have no qualification for devotional service, therefore we have spoiled everything.
Srila Prabhupada sometimes said, shaking his beautiful golden head: “Oh, they say I have done miracles by turning these Western boys into Vaishnavas!” And then he placed his right hand on his head, as if to subdue some pain, and said, “But they do not know how much headache it has been!”
Another time, at the news of another fallen sanyasi, he quietly commented, “The problem with these Western boys is that they go to the other side.” “The ‘other side’” someone asked, “You mean, back to the way they were before?” “Yes,” he nodded, and said softly, “ Therefore most of them will have to take birth in India to complete their Krishna Consciousness…”
I ponder these memories, fresh as the sunshine that danced on his face. But my question remains unanswered. Again, I ask, What, if anything, can I do to serve your glorious Sankirtan movement? Is there anything at all? My qualifications are small, my health is frail, my time is short. Yet my desire is strong. Please, give me the answer, please give me encouragement and inspiration, for without it, my life is like an empty grave, a bellows without air, and a stove without fire. It has no meaning. Oh yes, I can happily serve my beautiful Blue-cloud Lord with figs and nuts and fresh fruit. And heaps of Tulasi flowers. And I will go on doing that. I love to serve in that way. But when I look out at the charred landscape of your ISKCON, my heart breaks and I weep anew.
The Kali wars have reduced the chariots of Harinama Sankirtan to mere toys, taken out for show on the weekends. When he was here, our Commander in Chief, the chariots rolled every day! Harinama moved through the streets of every city, purifying the atmosphere for miles around! Abundance filled the coffers of ISKCON’s fortress. Now, gaping holes line the bombarded fortress, and the wounded and dying are everywhere. So many soldiers have fled. And the fat seargents sit in their lounge chairs and feed their dogs and computers, sniffing out money for their self-important projects. While the people of the world suffer from the lack of Harinama. And we suffer, unable to do our duty, building fake sandcastles in the sky around us, hoping to forget the pain of our failure.
Please help us, Oh Lord. Please have compassion on us, for we have no other shelter than You.
Your unworthy servant,
Vrinda Rani dasi
I feel so helpless. And I ask: What can I do? What more can I do? Is there anything, anything at all, that a small soul can do? I pray. I ask for guidance, and the tears of empty sorrow engulf me.
“Mor Senapati Bhakta.” “I will send my Commander-In-Chief,” the Lord declared. “Even if they flee to foreign countries, I will send my Senapati Bhakta to bring them back!” And he did. He sent Srila Prabhupada to the most materialistic country in the world, to bring us back. But he was with us such a short time.
O, we rejoice for his visit. We thank God everyday for the great good fortune of having seen and served his lotus feet. No doubt we are delivered by this divine gift. Yet, what of the world? The future generations? What of the great movement of Lord Chaitanya that started so humbly in a tiny New York storefront, yet spread to the ends of the Earth? What of the Hare Krishna Maha-mantra that caressed the Earth planet in the airwaves? Where has it gone?
Kali’s chiefs set to work on the movement as soon as our Senapati Bhakta left this world. They mismanaged, maneuvered, manipulated, and ultimately mutilated the beautiful movement started by our beloved Gurudev. Is this the course of history? Must it happen again and again? Are we but another tragedy, like the former Gaudiya Math?
On Srila Prabhupada’s Vyaspuja, we read some of Srila Prabhupada’s poems appealing to his God-Brothers. These excerpts from his poem “Viraha-Astaka” are certainly applicable today:
“O Master! If all of your disciples would sit down and carefully consider these things, then what nice preaching everyone could do together!
“That was your explicit order given to us–that everyone should work together to propagate the preaching mission while remaining immersed in your instructions.”
“But if everyone simply imitates your exalted position, then there will only be a contrary result. As long as this pretense continues, there will only be utter failure.”
“Merely having a festival of flowers and fruits does not constitute worship; those who serve the instructions of the spiritual master actually worship him.”
“By serving the spiritual master’s instructions the disciples are empowered with the transcendental sound vibration. O Godbrothers, please return to this standard and give up your false pride.”
“Once the greatly learned man known as Kalidas Naga had openly challenged our master in the public assembly by saying:”
“Kali’s mission is keeping the entire world falsely contented with material pleasures–why then are your disciples keeping the essential message of Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu locked up in a cage?”
“Oh, shame! Shame! my dear Godbrothers–aren’t we embarrassed by what we’re doing? In the manner of mundane businessmen we deceptively increase the numbers of our own disciples!”
“Our spiritual master had told us to go out and preach! Let the neophytes remain inside the temples and simply ring the bells.”
“Just open your eyes and see the tragedy that has arisen. Everyone has become a sense enjoyer and has given up preaching.”
“Within the surface of this planet there is another layer of the earth’s crust. But the power of sound is a matchless force that can penetrate right through the earth.”
‘From sea to sea, crossing the earth, penetrating the universal shell, all of us should unite in purpose and flood the lands with the inundation of Krishna conscious preaching”
“You have become renunciates, O Godbrothers, and so you indeed renounce everything. But if you also give up the order of your spiritual master, then what kind of renunciation is that?”
“One who tries to enjoy the assets of his spiritual master (guru-bhogi) and one who renounces his guru’s order (guru-tyagi) are two kinds of useless persons. But one who actually serves his spiritual master (guru-sevi) will clearly understand all these things.”
“There is only one all-opulent Supreme Lord; therefore, if one’s personal opulence increases, a true saintly person rejects it, knowing it to be the cause of a dangerous position in the material world.”
“Your hoarding of money, O Godbrothers, is the cause of material sense gratification. This meaningful statement was spoken by Srila Prabhupada (Bhaktisiddhanta) himself.”
“Give up your personal wealth for the cause of preaching. Sit down together and make a special effort to plan for its practical use.”
“Srila Prabhupada personally gave that command as his final instruction to us. Please take great care to carry out his wish by adopting various preaching modes.”
“Otherwise your efforts are in vain and all your results will be spoiled. Be very carefulin this regard, or later you will regret everything.”
“‘One must work for the benefit of all living beings.’” That is Mahaprabhu’s teaching. This activity is the storehouse of happiness in the present life as well as the next.”
“According to this command, much work has fallen into your hands, O Godbrothers, so please gather together in a unified effort and see that it is done!”
These sad cries of our own Srila Prabhupada were composed by him in 1958, long before his first journey to America. Yet just see how applicable they are to our situation today! Just see how he cried for his Master’s Gaudiya Math, as we also cry for the loss of our Master’s ISKCON!
Both have been undone by their leaders, overthrown by maya, and become scattered particles of self-satisfied impotent “zones.” We had great hopes for our children, and their children. But they were abused and destroyed, driven away by greedy leaders hungry for worship and power.
What now are we to do? What is our Fate? Are we not responsible for this tragedy? For allowing this to happen? If someone doesn’t protest a sinful act, he gives his silent approval, and is thus also responsible for that sinful action. If we witness a wrongdoing, and fail to protest, the scriptures say that we also become responsible for that wrong! If this is true, then we are also to blame! Are we complacently sitting drinking our morning herb tea and watering our gardens, while the wolves destroy all that which our Gurudev built up? I ask, what can be done?! Will he come again to clean up the mess, or will Mahaprabhu send others to reinstate his Sankirtan movement?
Oh, it will go on–of this there is no doubt! Lord Chaitanya’s prophecies will come to pass. Kali flinches at the mere sound of Mahaprabhu and His Mahamantra! But how will it go on? And what are we to do? What are we to do, those of us wounded, sometimes fallen, warriors on this battlefield of Kali Yuga?
Ah, we were so young and bright, so alive, we gave our all to our beloved Master, our Senapati Bhakta! We danced to his tunes and sang our hearts out! We experienced love, real love, for the first time in eons! We fell at his feet and offered our hearts to him — not only our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our time, our everything! And we were happy, so happy! Then suddenly, he left us. He left our mortal vision. And the trials began.
Salem’s witchcraft trials are eclipsed by the intrigues that then pounded our movement. Ambition, pride, and desire gave way to cruelty, deceit and even murder. ISKCON became a no-man’s land, a landscape of manipulation, leaders jockeying for power, prestige, and position. We fled away to the caves, holding tight to our memories of what was. And from a safe vantage point, we watched them systematically destroy everything Srila Prabhupada stood for — but keep the same label on it, hoping no one would notice.
And use the attractive features — the temples, the Deities, the wealth, even the Holy Names — to gather followers and carve out their feudal empires. And when those unfortunate “disciples” discovered the ruse, they were thrown away like flashlight batteries, only to be replaced by more.
They said they were the “Chosen.” And where are they now, these “Chosen?” The “Chosen” are gone, because they were never chosen by anyone but themselves! Handpicked by the cruel fingers of Kali. But then, I ask, had they not fallen away, failed in their guru masquerade, would anyone even remember our Srila Prabhupada, our Senapati Bhakta?
He was quickly pushed aside, shoved under the carpet, and his disciples driven away. The so-called chosen had to be exposed so that innocent people would not be misled. Those few disciples who remained in ISKCON suffered horribly, sometime losing their faith and leaving Krishna completely. Those who watched the horror from afar suffered with feelings of anger and helplessness.
And they continue to suffer, even now.
And now, over 30 years have passed. We are becoming old. Many of us have left this earth realm. Our children flounder in the world, searching for jobs in a materialistic society. Few survived the Spiritual Holocaust of 1978. Even Srila Prabhupada’s books were burned by the fires of the Holocaust, and are now mere charred remains of what they were before. And it continues. The changes, the edits, the “improvements.” Kali’s fingers of destruction.
There is no need for names. They know who they are. The Judas amongst us will be tried at the time of death, and they will enter hell worlds far worse than we can imagine. And we will all lament with compassion, “Oh, Prabhu, if only you could have served Srila Prabhupada without the cruel ghost of false ego, and the putrid stench of power and prestige!” But we cannot save them from their fate. Only Mahaprabhu can do that. The tormented tragedy of sin sits on their heads: Kali’s Chela, the children of Kali, Her sentries and chiefs.
And so, we weep. We fall on our knees and cry out, “Oh Srila Prabhupada, Oh Mahaprabhu, what can we do? What can we do? Is there anything at all? We are so small and so helpless. Please, we have only a short time remaining in this world. Please give us some hope. Give us some instruction: “Do this, do that…” Or, please, let us meet him again, our beloved Master.
In some other universe, in some other Kali Yuga, please let us try again. Let us be led like dancing dogs behind the lotus feet of your Senapati Bhakta. Let us try again. Here, we have failed miserably. But we want to try again. Please show us your compassion.”
What will happen here, on this earth planet, in this universe? Will he come again, or is he busy elsewhere? Will he send others to reinstate what was so famously begun?
Our hearts are weary, my Lord. There is quarrel and wrangling everywhere we look. They fight over minute details as if it were a fight between the Yankees and the Red Sox! We lack adhikar, we Westerners; we have no qualification for devotional service, therefore we have spoiled everything.
Srila Prabhupada sometimes said, shaking his beautiful golden head: “Oh, they say I have done miracles by turning these Western boys into Vaishnavas!” And then he placed his right hand on his head, as if to subdue some pain, and said, “But they do not know how much headache it has been!”
Another time, at the news of another fallen sanyasi, he quietly commented, “The problem with these Western boys is that they go to the other side.” “The ‘other side’” someone asked, “You mean, back to the way they were before?” “Yes,” he nodded, and said softly, “ Therefore most of them will have to take birth in India to complete their Krishna Consciousness…”
I ponder these memories, fresh as the sunshine that danced on his face. But my question remains unanswered. Again, I ask, What, if anything, can I do to serve your glorious Sankirtan movement? Is there anything at all? My qualifications are small, my health is frail, my time is short. Yet my desire is strong. Please, give me the answer, please give me encouragement and inspiration, for without it, my life is like an empty grave, a bellows without air, and a stove without fire. It has no meaning. Oh yes, I can happily serve my beautiful Blue-cloud Lord with figs and nuts and fresh fruit. And heaps of Tulasi flowers. And I will go on doing that. I love to serve in that way. But when I look out at the charred landscape of your ISKCON, my heart breaks and I weep anew.
The Kali wars have reduced the chariots of Harinama Sankirtan to mere toys, taken out for show on the weekends. When he was here, our Commander in Chief, the chariots rolled every day! Harinama moved through the streets of every city, purifying the atmosphere for miles around! Abundance filled the coffers of ISKCON’s fortress. Now, gaping holes line the bombarded fortress, and the wounded and dying are everywhere. So many soldiers have fled. And the fat seargents sit in their lounge chairs and feed their dogs and computers, sniffing out money for their self-important projects. While the people of the world suffer from the lack of Harinama. And we suffer, unable to do our duty, building fake sandcastles in the sky around us, hoping to forget the pain of our failure.
Please help us, Oh Lord. Please have compassion on us, for we have no other shelter than You.
Your unworthy servant,
Vrinda Rani dasi
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.