Kishori Jani's Brother Departs 11 28 23

 

With a broken heart, I share the devastating news that my older brother Balarama Das passed away peacefully in his sleep at the ISKCON Brooklyn, Radha Govinda Temple in NYC. He had just reached there a few days ago to help our younger brother Rupa Raghunath sort out some legal paperwork.

He was born on Balaram purnima in Vrindavan Dham and passed away on Sri Krishna Rasa Purnima in the home of Sri Sri Radha Govinda Dev! He spent almost 10 years in Vrindavan Gurukula and knew the entire Bhagavad Gita and HarinaamaAmrita Vyakaran by the age of 14. 

He did his Bachelors in Philosophy from UC Berkeley. He was one of the most intelligent people I knew. And yet there was a lot of suffering in his life, despite which, he was the MOST jolly and happy person you could meet. He would laugh such a deep and uproarious laugh that everyone would be forced to join in. He loved talking to everyone and helping in anyway, which is why he wanted to become a nurse next.

He was so great with all his nieces and nephews! Uncle Balarama was most certainly the favourite uncle of them all! He loved kids because he was a big kid till the end!

He was extremely talented at everything he did! He was an excellent harmonium, mrdanga and dilruba player and his kirtans were some of the best I have ever had the privilege of experiencing! He was the poster child for ISKCON Vrindavan Gurukula in the early 90s.

But the trauma of being in an abusive gurukula environment from age 4 had done it's damage. He was just remembering how he lived with mother Candrika for a year at the Vrn gaushala (instead of Gurukula) in the 80s because he couldn't settle into the gurukula at 4 years old. The freezing cold showers, beatings, verbal physical and sexual abuse and neglect had him wetting the bed for many of his early years. He suffered from anxiety and depression, like most abused gurukulis. And eventually it led to addictions and other dysfunctions.

PADA: Yes, some ex-gurukula victims told me they were in "Auschwitz for children," a sort of concentration camp environment, where prisoners are beaten, given physical and maybe sexual abuse, are fed rotten food, are given cold showers, and the whole idea is to "break them down mentally -- to the point they give up the will to live" and so on and so forth. It is called sometimes, breaking a person's spirit or will to live. "Breaking a person's spirit" can have fatal consequences, if they will lose the will to live, and that is often the intent.

When a person loses "the will to thrive" i.e. "the will to live," then, they can die from apparent physical causes, but the real problem is -- they were made to lose their will to thrive. Their body followed their mental state. Beating the prisoners to break their spirit is a process we should all know about and recognize already. 

Of course, even a number of adult victims of the GBC's guru scam also lost their "will to thrive," and they died prematurely of things like cancer and etc. And a number of the ex-youth and exiled adults became dysfunctional, turned to drugs and / or alcohol and so on. 

One of my good friends here in Berkeley died of alcohol poison, ok he drank himself to death. And this begs the question, who are the leaders who generated this environment, which seems to cause people to suffer and even die -- left, right and center -- and who are the enablers and collaborators. And in sum -- who is responsible for these horrendous cases of suffering and even death, of the Lord's devotees? 

And that almost answers the next question -- why most people do not want to discuss this issue, because they were part of the regime, or they fear opposing the regime. One victim recently told me they were going to expose a GBC guru, but on later told me, I just cannot go forward, exposing this guru will ruin my life, and it will place my children in danger.   

I share this because every parent in ISKCON should know how important these "Vaikuntha children" are and how damaging it is to neglect them in the name of training / tapasya or other services. Knowing the BG by heart or becoming a Sanskrit scholar isn't enough for a child. Balarama Das (along with 4 of my brothers who went to Gurukula) was neglected and we failed him as an institution and a spiritual society. 

He was collateral damage, the invisible price paid by families who laid the foundations for ISKCON. Those days, no one knew what they were doing and these children bore the brunt of a bad experiment. The suffering and struggle is still very much real and present even today for our families. 

PADA: Not sure how so many people did not know? We said in 1978 that making children worship conditioned souls is psychological child abuse right out of the gate. By 1979 we knew some of the gurus were falling into illicit sex and drugs, and that means the children were being now forced to worship known debauchees. 

This was known to most everyone in the society, we were forcing the children to worship degraded fools like Jayatirtha as their messiahs. And reports of homosexual activities, other forms of guru fall downs, and children "weirdly massaging their guru" and other similar things was being discussed in 1980. Again, many people knew that, and most likely most or all of the leaders knew. 

But everyone has moved on to more important projects. 

PADA: Umm well yeah, it is called denial. They don't want to address the history of how all this "Auschwitz for kids" evolved, and who have been the main leaders / administrators of ISKCON's "gurukula" system / Auschwitz camps -- at that time, or even now. OK like: Gopal Krishna swami, Lokanath swami, Bhakti Caru swami, Bhagavan das, Ramesvara swami, Harikesha swami, Jayapataka swami, Kirtanananda swami, Bhavananda swami, Hari Sauri, Bhakti Vikas swami, Bhakti Tirtha swami, and so forth. 

People have "moved on" because they have not wanted to confront this bogus guru / bogus gurukula / process all along from 1978, and how all of this odious out cropping evolved and who made it evolve. And who has been the hand maidens of all this mess, such as the second tier managers, many compromised parents etc.   

It would be healing to see the ISKCON leadership actively seek out these damaged children and try to engage them. It'll be hard work but it'll please Sri Krishna and Srila Prabhupada to see that we are looking after each other. Most of these "forgotten Vaikuntha children" can't set foot into a temple without being triggered ... healing is very much needed.

PADA: Probably 99 percent, or maybe 99.999 percent of the ex-kulis around here avoid ISKCON and boycott ISKCON, because the same leaders who created the abuse infrastructure, ok like Jayapataka swami for example, are still in charge. And worse, some of the exploiters like Kirtanananda are being buried in samadhi.

Hopefully we all will learn our lessons.

The fact that my siblings are still completely surrendered to Sri Krishna and Srila Prabhupada is a miracle and is testament to the fact that Srila Prabhupada and Sri Krishna never forget. And of course the power of the Bhakti that my mother and father possessed and passed on, is what's carrying us.

Ultimately Krishna NEVER fails us! Luckily, for the past few years, Balarama was back living in Vrindavan where he belonged, trying his best to heal. He was helping my mother, cooking and cleaning for her, reading SB and CC with her and my siblings online everyday ... After many years of being lost, he had definitely found his way back to Krishna and loved to chant his rounds again and do parikrama around Vrindavan regularly.

PADA: Yeah but, seeing that the leaders of the abuse infrastructure are still in charge means, he could not be truly free of his oppressors. If you still have to see the leaders of your "Auschwitz for kids prison camp program" still being worshiped as good as God -- after you were one of the concentration camp victims of their program, then that is very discouraging and a source of severe depression, as a number of victims have told me personally. 

The leaders of the Auschwitz for kids program are still parading around in orange robes, riding in big fancy cars, living in big opulent buildings, sitting in big giant Vyasa seats, acting like nothing is wrong. And while these leaders have the best facility in the universe, many of these ex-kids have been struggling hard just to get a job at minimum wages. 

Add to that -- the trauma and dysfunction their mistreatment created, making it even more difficult to manage on the material plane. In short, their oppressors made out like wealthy bandits, and a number of these kids ended up -- out on the street with nothing, or less than nothing, because they have been severely traumatized, making it even harder to perform basic survival skills. 

When I was in LA some of these kids were living in cars, some of them were working at Mc Donalds hamburgers, and so on. In short, they were not being taken care of -- by anyone. OK except a few people like me, I helped some of them sign up for the lawsuit so they got a little stipend.

He was only 43 but his health had been a bit up and down with very high blood pressure etc. We suspect he had a heart attack in his sleep and left us peacefully. We spent kartik in Vrindavan together and he kept saying I'm not ready to go to America because I'm not feeling so well. 

He had a bit of a flu and felt a bit dizzy at times. Yet he went to help his little brother out ... a true vaisnava till his last breath. His last voice message to me was a happy one, where he said "everything is exactly how it was meant to be, that he was exactly where Krishna wanted Him to be and that he loved me very much."

PADA: Well things are not going the way Krishna wanted them to be. He never intended that these children would be treated like Auschwitz prisoners, and then have to see their oppressors strutting around thinking they are another Jesus incarnated. If we watch movies about prisons and concentration camps, one feature is, you have to respect the odious leaders of the camp as some wonderful authority. And you have to submit to their authority without question, never mind these leaders are sinister and evil tyrants, who are generating your abusive conditions.

 

He was a very dear friend to everyone who knew him! And most dear to Sri Sri Krishna Balarama, who looked after Him in this lifetime. I am sure Balarama Das is in Their loving and safe shelter! We are here with a broken heart!

If you knew him please sing a kirtan in his honor and send us any pics that you have of him. I'm on my way to NYC from the UK and Nandu Bhaiya is coming from India. We will look after Balarama's cremation and bring his ashes home. If you are in NYC, come sing and chant with us in the temple, in the evenings.

Hari Om Tat Sat

Jai Jai Sri Radhe Shyam, Jai Krishna Balaram, Jai Vrindavan Dham!
Jai Balarama Das!

PADA: OK New York City, that is where Romapada, Jayadvaita, Kuladri and various usual suspects are hanging out. Where were all of them when all of this abuse was going on? I forgot, Jayadvaita was trying to get "voted in" to the regime, so he could ask "why in the hell are people chanting Jaya Prabhupada"? Yep, let me be a card carrying member of -- the illicit sex with men, women and children guru parampara! Then we can orchestrate a program of banning, beating, molesting, suing and -- killing -- vaishnavas. 

And Kuladri -- he was Kirtanananda's main henchman, and he was turning away complaints about the abuse according to ex-NV people. Romapada was kicked out by the GBC, for trying to steal the building. And in sum, these people were "enforcers" in the enforced cult ritualistic worship of homosexual pedophiles as messiahs project. Why are we sending people to associate with this bunch?

And then Jayadvaita said he has taken too much karma, and so he designates Kadamba Kanana to take karma, and he does take karma, and he gets cancer, and he dies. Seriously, with friends like this, who needs enemies. And meanwhile people are offering bhogha to conditioned souls, which means it is contaminating to eat it, and it can thus make people get sick, and die. How can any of these people take the sins of others? How can we offer bhogha to the molester messiah's project's leaders? 

And now some devotee told me that Subhag swami had told that devotee, he too is another gay person in their guru group. Someone else says this Prem swami guy is also a gay guru. And yet another person says the whole of Mayapura is infused with black magic and lots of "man to man hugging," men sitting themselves -- or boys -- on their laps, putting their heads on each other's laps and so forth. Anyone in this environment is going to be malefic afflicted. The people who are running Auschwitz for kids projects -- are not the people the victims should associate with subsequently.

At the same time, we wish this departed soul all the best. God speed spirit soul! You are no longer among these wolves in sheep's dress, Krishna pulled you out of their association. Yep. I get it, it is sad for the people who loved this soul -- and yet from our point of view, it is a blessing for him to be free of these molester messiah's club leaders and their association. 

Wherever you are now, it is better than being with this lot. And yes, I believe Krishna will assist this soul in making forward progress, because Krishna knows how he was victimized by their Auschwitz for kids program, and He will take all that all into account. Yeah, ultimately we are all collateral damage of the molester messiah's project. It is high time for everyone to oppose them and get them out of management positions in ISKCON. 

ys pd angel108b@ yahoo.com  

My dear Lord.

Please take care of this departed

spirit soul.

ys pd

VERY IMPORTANT THIS TO BE UNDERSTOOD

"These rascals create so many difficult situations. The public is very nice but the politicians keep them in ignorance. I have studied the whole world. Human nature is the same everywhere. The mass of people are very good but these rogues create by their personal aggrandizement so many difficulties."

● Letter to: Atreya Rsi, Bombay, 20 April, 1977