The Story of Yogini Ekadasi

Yogini Ekadasi (Fast from grains and beans)

Yudhisthira Maharaj said, "Oh Supreme Lord, I have heard the glories of the Nirjala Ekadasi, which occurs during the light fortnight of the month of Jyeshtha (May - June).

Now I wish to hear from You about the suddha Ekadasi that occurs during the dark fortnight of the month of Ashadha (June - July). Kindly describe to me all about it in detail, Oh killer of the Madhu demon (Madhusudana)."

The Supreme Lord, Sri Krishna, then replied, "Oh king, I shall indeed tell you about the best of all fasting days, the Ekadasi that comes during the dark part of the month of Ashadha. Famous as Yogini Ekadasi, it removes all kinds of sinful reactions and awards supreme liberation.

"Oh best of kings, this Ekadasi delivers people who are drowning in the vast ocean of material existence and transports them to the shore of the spiritual world. In all the three worlds, it is the chief of all sacred fasting days.
I shall now reveal this truth to you by narrating a history recounted in the Puranas.

"The king of Alakapuri - Kuvera, the treasurer of the devas (demigods) - was a steadfast devotee of lord Shiva. He employed a servant named Hemamali as his personal gardener. Hemamali, a Yaksha like Kuvera, was very lustfully attracted to his gorgeous wife, Swarupavatii, who had large, enchanting eyes.

"Hemamali's daily duty was to visit Manasarovara Lake and bring back flowers for his master, Kuvera, with which he would use them in the puja offerings to lord Shiva. One day, after picking the flowers, Hemamali went to his wife instead of returning directly to his master and fulfilling his duty by bringing the flowers for the puja.

Absorbed in loving affairs of a bodily nature with his wife, he forgot to return to the abode of Kuvera. "Oh king, while Hemamali was enjoying with his wife, Kuvera had begun the worship of lord Shiva as normal in his palace and soon discovered that there were no flowers ready to be offered in the midday puja.
The lack of such an important item (upachara) angered the great Koshad-yaksha (treasurer of the devas) even more, and he asked a Yaksha messenger, 'Why has dirty-hearted Hemamali not come with the daily offering of flowers?
Go find out the exact reason and report back to me in person with your findings.'

The Yaksha returned and told Kuvera, 'Oh dear lord, Hemamali has become lost in freely enjoying coitus with his wife.' "Kuvera became extremely angry when he heard this and at once summoned lowly Hemamali before him.

Knowing that he had been remiss and dawdling in his duty and exposed as meditating on his wife's body, Hemamali approached his master in great fear.
The gardener first paid his obeisances and then stood before his lord, whose eyes had become red with anger and whose lips trembled in rage.

So enraged, Kuvera cried out to Hemamali, 'Oh you sinful rascal! Oh destroyer of religious principles! You are a walking offense to the devas! I therefore curse you to suffer from white leprosy and to become separated from your beloved wife! Only great suffering is deservedly yours!

Oh lowborn fool, leave this place immediately and betake yourself to the lower planets to suffer!' "And so Hemamali fell at once from grace in Alakapuri and became ill with the terrible affliction of white leprosy.

He awoke in a dense and fearful forest, where there was nothing to eat or drink.
Thus he passed his days in misery, unable to sleep at night due to pain.
He suffered in both winter and summer season, but because he continued to worship lord Shiva himself with faith, his consciousness remained purely fixed and steady.

Although implicated by great sin and its attendant reactions, he remembered his past life because of his piety. "After wandering for some time here and there, over mountains and across plains, Hemamali eventually came upon the vast expanse of the Himalayan mountain ranges.

There he had the wonderful good fortune to come in contact with the great saintly soul Markandeya Rishi, the best of ascetics, whose duration of life it is said, extends to seven of the days of Brahma.

"Markandeya Rishi was seated peacefully at his Ashrama, looking as effulgent as a second Brahma. Hemamali, feeling very sinful, stood at a distance from the magnificent sage and offered his humble obeisances and choice prayers.

Always interested in the welfare of others, Markandeya Rishi saw the leper and called him near, "Oh you, what sort of sinful deeds have you done to earn this dreadful affliction?' 

"Hearing this, Hemamali painfully and ashamed replied, 'Dear sir, I am a Yaksha servant of lord Kuvera, and my name is Hemamali. It was my daily service to pick the flowers from the Manasarovara lake for my master's worship of lord Shiva, but one day I was negligent and was late in returning with the offering because I had become overwhelmed with lusty passion for enjoying bodily pleasures with my wife.

When my master discovered why I was late, he cursed me in great anger to be as I am before you. Thus I am now bereft of my home, my wife, and my service. But fortunately I have come upon you, and now I hope to receive from you an auspicious benediction, for I know that devotees such as you are as merciful as the Supreme Lord (Bhakta Vatsala) and always carry the interest of others uppermost in their hearts.

That is their - your nature. Oh best of sages, please help me!' "Softhearted Markandeya Rishi replied, 'Because you have told me the truth, I shall tell you about a fast day that will benefit you greatly. If you fast on the Ekadasi that comes during the dark fortnight of the month of Ashadha, you will surely be freed of this terrible curse.'

Hemamali fell to the ground in complete gratitude and offered him his humble obeisances again and again. But Markandeya Rishi stood there and lifted poor Hemamali to his feet, filling him with inexpressible happiness. "Thus, as the sage had instructed him, Hemamali dutifully observed the Ekadasi fast, and by its influence he again became a handsome Yaksha.

Then he returned home, where he lived very happily with his wife." Lord Sri Krishna concluded, "So, you can readily see, Oh Yudhishthira that fasting on Yogini Ekadasi is very powerful and auspicious. Whatever merit one obtains by feeding eighty-eight thousand brahmins is also obtained simply by observing a strict fast on Yogini Ekadasi.

For one who fasts on this sacred Ekadasi, she (Ekadasi Devi), destroys heaps of past sinful reactions and makes him most pious. Oh King, thus I have explained to you the purity of Yogini Ekadasi." Thus ends the narration of the glories of Ashadha-krishna Ekadasii, or Yogini Ekadasi, from the Brahma-vaivarta Purana.

The Hare Krishna Murders - Author Henry Doktorski (Video)

Sunnyvale Kids Classes Now Online

PADA: Good idea, that means kids anywhere in the world can connect.

Also live deity darshan and classes here:

https://www.iskconbangalore.org/live-darshan/

pada@ angel108b@yahoo.com

Bury My Body Lord, I Don't Care Where (Video)

PADA: Heard a version of this before I became a devotee, knew it had something special about it!

ISKCON Leaders Support Female Diksha Gurus

https://iskconnews.org/senior-gbc-gurus-support-vaishnavi-diksa-gurus-in-new-video,7394/?

PADA: OK wait a minute, the "advanced GBC men" -- who already created their illicit sex with men, women and children guru program -- a program that bans, beats, molests, sues folks -- and sometimes orchestrates murders of dissenters -- are now going to "vote" women into that same parampara? 

What could go wrong here pilgrims? 

So this means the ISKCON people who said -- making female diksha gurus will create a civil war in ISKCON -- are right? This will create more schism and disintegration, never mind dubious female diksha gurus with all the self-evident problems that will entail. Meanwhile, no one explains how neophytes can absorb sins as diksha gurus, either male of female? 

Meanwhile, Varsana swami is preaching that we need to all take shelter of the teachings of Jesus to help us understand the suicide of the priest at New Vrndavana, after many GBC folks said the followers of Jesus are the bogus ritviks. We need to follow the process of the bogus ritviks to understand what is happening in ISKCON. OK we cannot follow the teachings of the GBC gurus to help us understand things, we need to go to Jesus for help. Why is he not being banned for preaching bogus ritvik stuff?

And that also means, they have no good explanation for the suicide, so they are trying to paper it over with some hodge podge talks about forgiveness and kindness, which evidently was not being given to the priest there? 

It seems like the wheels are coming off the bogus GBC's guru train more and more every day. And Patita Pavana das finally admits that Bhakti Vikas swami cannot go too far into criticizing the GBC "because his followers have to interact with the GBC people." OK so we have to back pedal on criticizing things like burying pedophiles in the dham etc. so we can compromise with that process. And that is Patita Pavana and Hanuman Croatia's idea of an excellent preacher, a guy who compromises with this pedophile guru process? How excellent is that? I think I am going to need two percodans today, hee hee!

ys pd    

Exploring Racial Issues (Acyuta Gopi Video)

Patita Pavana (Miles Davis) Mithuna Astrology VS PADA

We need to pray this program is -- protected by God?

PADA: Patita Pavana das (Miles Davis) is another one of my God brothers who tends to baffle me by his apparent contrary loyalties. He designates himself as a Srila Prabhupada faithful, at the same time he came to the temple here to do a kirtan for Kirtanananda -- at a time when the swami got whacked on the head. Yes, Kirtanananda is sitting on a big throne, covered with the hands of dozens of young boys, and this scene is described as "pedophile heaven" by a TV lady news person. We need to pray to God that this "pedophile heaven" process continues on! Who knew!

Kirtanananda is also orchestrating a program that bans, beats, molests, sues and assassinates dissenter devotees. Therefore we need to pray that this program also thrives and continues, and is protected by God. Wait! We have to pray to God -- to protect Satan's program? 

Did we forget to mention, Sulochan was at the time being maligned as the cause of the pipe attack, so they could set him up as a demon -- to get him killed. Sulochan in reality could not stand the attacker Triyogi, saying he is simply another guru wanna - be, and thus Triyogi is upset Kirtanananda is blocking his path to guru-ship.

And Patita Pavana hangs out with other GBC gurus. He glorifies guys like Sridhara swami -- who was one of the Radhanath lover's club members, even staying at Radhanath's place when he was sick. And there are some people who complain that Patita Pavana das is simply exploiting ISKCON by doing all sorts of "astrology charts" for hundreds of ISKCON people including some of their gurus, as a sort of business. How could he miss that people who artificially pose as gurus have the astrology chart of going to the lowest planets in the lowest regions of the universe? 

And now Patita Pavan is cheer leading Bhakti Vikas swami, who was voted in as guru by the 1986 reinstators of one of their homosexual pedophile gurus. Are these the same group of leaders who were orchestrating the child abuse regime and suppressing us for complaining about same, including that Sulochan was murdered for complaining? 

The leaders of this regime are the people we should promote as the faithful to Prabhupada? Lets pray that Krishna protects Kirtanananda, so the molesting and murders will carry on nicely without me and Sulochana checking the process? And then they wonder why there has been so many molesting cases.]  

Patita Pavana das (Miles Davis) Mithuna Astrological Services

THE PRABHUS FROM THE SW

I have invited a few of our friends who are relatively new to Krishna consciousness to see the results of Change-Up Syndrome. This includes Pyari Mohani Dasi and her husband Nitya Siddha Das Prabhu who has taken on huge responsibilities in the service of his spiritual master. Mitrasena Das Prabhu who is constantly working and preaching. And Mitra’s cousin-brother Atanas Dafinov.

I did not invite our friends, who are all like family to Abhaya Mudra t Devi, to become involved in the fray, but rather to see the result of what takes place after the Acharya departs and the change-up squad bullies their way in. What you see here on this page is a lot of pain from sincere disciples who are saddened and hurt by the callous treatment of the books at the hands of a neophyte and untalented Editor with Change-Up Syndrome.

I recall when the three of you came to me years ago to inquire submissively of many things. You wished to know from Abhaya Mudra Dasi and me whether formal initiation is important. Is the particular selection of Shri Diksha-Guru important, or is “getting initiated into the institution sufficient?”

Frankly, I had to think these things over because I had not been in touch with many God brothers over the years who had taken on the tremendous burden of becoming Guru on the order of Mahaprabhu. 

[PADA: And where is it said that us neophytes can "take on the burden" of being worshiped as the successor acharyas to Krishna? Rather shastra says when us conditioned souls and neophytes take the post of acharya, we are destined for the most obnoxious regions. 

A kindergarten child cannot "take on the burden" of being a brain surgeon, it will fail and people will die -- that's all. There is simply no instruction anywhere that we neophytes should take the post of acharya, rather this is forbidden everywhere in shastra.]

However, since I keep a friendly and Godbrotherly relationship with His Holiness Shripad Bhakti Vikas Maharaja, I suggested that if you want to follow Prabhupada, then follow someone who follows Prabhupada. And your Guru Maharaja is certainly that—every breath of his has been sacrificed into the pleasing service of Srila Prabhupada.

[PADA: Bhakti Vikas swami is voted in to the GBC's guru parampara, which includes illicit sex with men, women and children. How is that serving Prabhupada?]

Today as I marvel at the advancement of each of you, I am thankful for the wisdom in your selection of Diksha Guru. If there is any Gurubhai who deserves the title Shrla Prabhupada ordained for his most advanced and senior preachers, Bhakti Sarvabhauma, it is your guru Maharaja. Bhakti Sarvabhauma,is the PhD. And D.Litt. of Krishna consciousness, and this is your spiritual master. His accomplishments are incredible.

Some of you have visited his stunning project in Salem, a temple whose vision is so far-reaching that Lord Shiva and Parvati are personally watching out for its loving construction. He has saved a gigantic chapter in Gaudiya history with his stunning collection of sampradayic lore from the first half of the 20th Century—Shi Bhaktisiddhanta Vaibhava.

When I was caught in a dreary situation in the 90s in SF, I recall that it was his biography on Shrila Vamsidasa Babaji that uplifted my soul. 

[PADA: You are in a dreary situation because the GBC, including Bhakti Vikas swami, enabled destroying the preaching in San Francisco with their false gurus. That means everyone else is also in a dreary situation because these gurus are destroying the preaching.]

He has great farm, restaurant and gurukula projects, and he has founded an important Vaishnava publishing wing. His disciples are among the very best, like the husband - wife team Ananta Sarovara and Kishora Pandit who did all the Sanskrit work on Shri Chanakya Niti and Panchatantra. 

[PADA: Except BVKS's disciples just now told me that its ok for neophytes like Jayapataka to take thousands of people's sins because its only "my opinion" that its wrong. So when Srila Prabhupada says, we neophytes cannot absorb sins, that is "my opinion" and not his opinion? Why is Bhakti Vikas swami teaching his disciples that Srila Prabhupada's opinion is my opinion? Did I forget to mention that Jayapataka's terrible health issues are like a poster child of the bad results of absorbing karma without authority?]

And through it all, he remains humble and deeply concerned for the welfare of his accepted disciples.

[PADA: OK so the devotees overall are being banned, beaten, sued, molested and even assassinated, so where is the concern for the other devotees? He is taking care of his particular clique, not the overall society.]

So always keep a strong sense of fidelity to the service of Shri Guru in thoughts, words, and deeds. Remain faithful and serve the instructions of he whose instructions are in harmony with the sampradaya and Srila Prabhupada. Krishna consciousness is simple for the simple and very complex and confusing for the crooked-minded, lame-brained victim of Change-Up Syndrome.

[PADA: Bhakti Vikas swami is voted in to the GBC's guru process, by the same people who reinstated oral sex with taxi drivers as their Vishnupada acharya. This is all changed up. There is no such thing as voted in gurus, no such thing as oral sex with taxi driver's gurus, and so on and so forth.] 

What if someone were to come to your center with a new twist on his instructions that. as you know from his books, " The neophyte ringing the bell before the Deities is superior to the altruist who has built a hundred hospitals.’ (from memory).

No, now some mundane wrangler person has re-written your Guru’s book to say that hospital construction is superior, and it is better to give Lunch Food than Prasad. A great argument ensues, relationships are ruined and everything is destroyed. 

Well, that would be a great success for Kali wouldn’t it? Kali works by divide and conquer, and the similar effects are seen here wherein this not-so-small subject of editing has literally destroyed the ISKCON family, cost the movement thousands of hard working and sincere followers of Shrila Prabhupada, and has depleted the treasury in millions of dollars of good money thrown at bad lawsuits. 

Add to that, that many of the devotees who were left out in the cold ended up joining worse organizations than the changed-up ISKCON and ruined their lives.

And without proper guidance many Gurukula children were victimized and molested. Many, many went on to commit suicide. ISKCON lost the Turley lawsuit and had to throw away more money due to letting perverts care for children.

[PADA: Right, the Bhakti Vikas swami guru program has been driving people to other missions and ruining the gurukula children's generation. How is that serving Srila Prabhupada? And Bhakti Vikas swami has criticized people who oppose the changed books. 

And if the victims of their program have been falling down, if not committing suicide due to their policies, then that means the blood of these victims is on their hands. And BVKS is the sannyasa disciple of Jayapataka, whose program in Mayapur is famous as a hotbed for child abuse and molesting, and is currently not viewed favorably for allowing Bhakti Vidya Purna, Dhanurdar, Bhavananda and others to float around there. So, who let the perverts take care of the children? These guys did. And they repressed those of us ringing the alarm bells.] 

So those are just a few of the the bitter fruits of Change-Up Syndrome. I know that you all have more important things to do than to jump into old frays. Go ahead and build a new age, a Satya Yuga here in the Rilas. Build it on a firm foundation in Krishna consciousness. But remember this example always — and stay forever faithful to the lotus feet of the spiritual master whose life and soul is the instruction of his own Sri Guru.

By the way, we have noticed that during the past eclipse cycle which presaged the current pandemic, that Mitrasena spearheaded sankirtana into the streets of Sofia and just in time. Each time it would rain as a message from Rain God Indra that you shall be protected. And when the Pandemic struck, Bulgaria was hardly touched. So thanks to Mitrasena dnd the Sofia sankirtana party. It is an example Of HH Bhakti Vikas to take the Holy Names to the streets because in the final analysis he is Prabhupada's sankirtana man. Caratals, mridanga, the Holy Names--and no change-up syndrome.

[PADA: First of all, Srila Prabhupada said that if we allow people to touch our feet we will be acting as diksha gurus, we will absorb their sins, and that will cause us to get sick, fall down or both. He also said if we do that we will have to suffer. Many of them died. 

Unfortunately Bhakti Vikas swami argued with me that people like Jayatirtha can take the sins of thousands of people without any problems. Well sorry, the list of problems is too long to list here. And his sannyasa guru Jayapataka is like a poster child for what happens when neophytes absorb sins. Its what he told us = not = to do, so do that at your peril and the peril of the society if they are leaders. ys pd]

Patita Pavana Das No one can match the achievements made by Bhakti Vikas Maharaja in the current state of the sampradaya from Prabhupada. This is my conviction regardless of some arbitrary conversation decades ago.

[PADA: No BVKS still says Jayapataka can take sins now, same thing he has always said? Jayapataka is taking the karma of thousands more people even recently, and BVKS thinks this is great. Actually we can see clearly, its causing JPS considerable suffering, exactly as Srila Prabhupada said it will. ys pd]

Srila Prabhupada...... "Before coming to your country I took sannyasa in 1959. I was publishing BTG since 1944. After taking sannyasa I was more engaged in writing my books without any attempt to construct temples or to make disciples like my other Godbrothers in India. I was not very much interested in these matters because my Guru Maharaja liked very much publication of books than constructing big, big temples and creating some neophyte disciples. As soon as he saw that His neophyte disciples were increasing in number, He immediately decided to leave this world. To accept disciples means to take up the responsibility of absorbing the sinful reactions of life of the disciple. "

Letter to: Satsvarupa, Uddhava -- Los Angeles 27 July, 1970

pada @ angel108b@yahoo.com

GBC Introduces "Restricted and Suspended Acharya" Process

GBC letter, April 22, 2020

Dear ISKCON Devotees,

Please accept our humble obeisances.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

We write to update the members of the ISKCON society regarding the status of Param Gati Das.

Due to serious personal difficulties, Param Gati Das was suspended from his service as an initiating spiritual master and he stepped down from the sannyasa ashram in 2010. During that time, arrangements were made to provide him additional association and support. It was hoped he would rectify himself from his previous deviations and live the strict life of a renunciant, either as a brahmacari or, perhaps, at a later time, be reinstated as a sannyasi.

However, the Governing Body Commission (GBC) has learned that Param Gati Das has continued to act in ways that seriously violate our Vaishnava standards of interpersonal behavior, protection of dependents, and the regulative principles, especially as expected of senior Vaishnavas who give shelter to others. As such, the GBC found it necessary to put additional restrictions (known hereinafter as “the Restrictions”) in place regarding his participation in ISKCON, effective immediately.

The Restrictions on Param Gati Das are as follows :

• Directed to stop wearing the dress of a renunciant, and to wear white;

• Directed to undergo appropriate counseling;

• Prohibited from any leadership position in ISKCON, including but not limited to giving classes or leading kirtans at any ISKCON community, or affiliated event;

• Prohibited from staying overnight at any ISKCON temple, except that he is allowed to stay at the New Mayapura Temple (NM) in France;

–He may stay at NM with permission of, and under the guidance of, local leaders.

–This permission shall be reviewed every six months and may be extended per the decision of NM leadership;

• Removed as a diksa guru in ISKCON.

The Restrictions shall be implemented with immediate effect.

The specific prohibition against giving classes or leading kirtans may be reviewed by the GBC Body (or their assigned committee) upon request, after a minimum period of five years, and shall be based upon an assessment of Param Gati Das’s steadiness in upholding proper Vaishnava behavior and principles.

Subject to the Restrictions, Param Gati Das is not prohibited from visiting ISKCON Temples, participating in Temple events, or engaging in devotional services. He has informed the GBC that he plans to remain connected to ISKCON by humbly serving Srila Prabhupada’s mission as needed.

In addition, Param Gati Das has confirmed and acknowledged the Restrictions stated in this letter, and expressly agreed to abide by the Restrictions.

The GBC has also concluded that Param Gati Das is unfit to offer proper shelter and guidance to those he has initiated. Thus, we wish to especially reach out to those initiated into our Gaudiya Vaishnava parampara by Param Gati Das. The GBC Body, collectively and individually, offers our friendship, support, and assistance to Param Gati Das’s siksa and diksa disciples.

It is very important to note that despite Param Gati Das’s current status, devotees initiated by him remain connected to our parampara, and especially to Srila Prabhupada, our Founder-acarya and preeminent siksa-guru and shelter for all ISKCON devotees.

Srila Prabhupada taught us that just as the grandfather is especially kind to his grand children, in the same way the grandfather guru is especially kind to the grand disciples. In this way, Srila Prabhupada continues to give each of you the opportunity and support to develop your pure love of Lord Krishna. That has not changed. Srila Prabhupada’s mercy is there for you in every situation. His teachings are there to guide you, and you continue to have the shelter of the holy name, the Deities, the Vaishnavas and all the other blessings provided by ISKCON communities.

ISKCON also has many senior devotees who can assist you through whatever difficulties or confusion you may face. So, please seek the shelter of local leaders in your area. The GBC members are also concerned for your welfare. For those who wish to speak with someone from the GBC, you can contact us via: GBC.EC@pamho.net.

Some Other devotees in ISKCON have also seen their initiating gurus fall from the strict standards of bhakti. Many, many of those disciples have chosen to stay under the shelter of ISKCON and Srila Prabhupada and they continue to serve nicely and make steady spiritual progress. Please draw from their example.

All devotees struggle from time to time with major challenges in life. Yet, we remain comforted knowing that the Lord is protecting and caring for each of us, despite the turmoil we sometimes must face.

[PADA: There you have it, the acharyas are also struggling (and falling down) from time to time. Its what they said all along.] 
Taking shelter of Vaishnava association within ISKCON and an ever-deepening dependence on Lord Krishna, we encourage you to continue with your spiritual life. Know that your connection with the Lord remains solid, and your progress in spiritual life can continue unchecked. We pray for your continued advancement in your spiritual endeavors and that the blessings of the Lord will be with you during this difficult time.

Hare Krishna.

Your servants,

GBC Executive Committee

Ramai Swami
Bhakti Caitanya Swami
Bhanu Swami

New Vrndaban Priest's Suicide Petition

https://www.change.org/p/iskcon-governing-body-commission-justice-for-venkat?

Hare Krishna,

Recently ISKCON New Vrindaban located in Marshall County, WV USA witnessed the suicide of an Indian bodied priest name Venkatachalapati Das (Sreedhar Kommanamanchi) under mysterious circumstances. The temple management has been trying to portray the death as accidental and trying to hide the circumstances & facts under which he committed his suicide.

Background: ISKCON New Vrindaban, a (ISKCON) Hindu temple located in Moundsville West Virginia is one of the biggest temples in North America. This temple is visited by almost 40,000 visitors a year. Since most of the visitors are of Indian origin, the temple hires priests from India to cater to the religious needs of the congregation and raise funds from them. This has been going on for the past 20+ years or so.

However, it has been noticed that these priests numbering to 100+ in numbers are victims of racial abuse by the temple management and they are forced to leave the temple after some time if they develop too much popularity among the congregation. Over the years many priests have been forced to leave and everything was taken away from them. They have been publicly shamed, harassed, threatened and even falsely reported to USCIS to deport them back to their country of origin. This trend is started and followed under the management of Jaya Krsna Das (Josef Imseng) who runs the temple as corporate business.

One young priest named Venkatachalapati Das (Sreedhar Kommanamachi) was targeted by Jaya Krsna das and his wife Anuradha Dasi. Venkatachalapati das being very naive and unable to bear the humiliation, threat & several atrocities committed suicide.

Unanswered Questions and trying to cover up:
1. The first communication from the temple management was that it’s an accident. “There was a deity of Narasimha found with him under the boat and a garland of Narasimha which he was wearing was found floating on the water.” clearly indicates it is not but still management tried to cover it up.

2. Time of the incident never got revealed, ie. who met venkat last who talked to him. Where were his belonging no details !

3. The focus of the temple management and board rotates with a goal to protect the temple management.

4. Second communication came from the temple, he left a Note of suicide.

5. Again focus shifted to show a rosy image of the suicide. They mention Venkat loves cleaning the lake though he doesn’t know to swim and he is not assigned to this work, shows management negligence for letting someone do what he is not qualified for? Mentioning Venkat has no issues with management, wife, life, or anything. Then why did he committed suicide? More coverup continues hereon from the authorities.

6. Now once people started questions on the FB post, temple authorities first deleted comments, and now the post is removed. Trying to shut voices.

Overall in this whole fiasco Venkat lost his life. He was one beloved son of old and poor parents from Vizag, India, a loving husband, an unbiased friend, the sweetest person who greets everyone who comes to the temple to visit, a priest who had enormous faith in Lord Shri Radha Vrindavan chandra and Lord Narsimha and a guy who touched so many lives.

Here are our demands:
1. A thorough investigation into the step by step circumstances leading to Venkatachalapati's death by neutral & competent authority.

2. A public apology from New Vrindaban temple management & board for hiding the facts and misleading the friends and family members and overall donors and supporters of ISKCON New Vrindaban.

3. Resignation of Jaya Krsna Das, Anuradha Dasi and Gopisa Dasa from New Vrindaban temple management and any GBC positions or authorities held by these individuals and unbiased investigation into all the racial abuses they caused to Indian as well as other nationality priests along with thorough investigation of financial misappropriations of funds which are donated largely by Indian congregational members.

4. Written condemnation & confirmation to STOP overall systematic abuse of Indian priests for raising money and humiliating and abusing them.

This Death of a young telugu priest should not go in vain. Sign this petition and demand #justiceforvenkat #devoteelivesmatter #indianlivesmatter #humanlivesmatter

Mukunda UK Is More Bodily Conscious -- Than Dogs?

PADA: Some younger devotees were asking PADA about Mukunda UK's links and Videos about: The glories of the Nazis; too many brown people living in the UK; upcoming race riots; Antifa is taking over; white lives matter; the communists are taking over etc. And all this mess -- after -- we previously had people discussing his "serpent people from the Draco constellation" DVDs he has been selling. 

So this begs the question, why is a so-called "devotee of Krishna" all the time discussing -- white bodies, brown bodies, black bodies, Jewish bodies, communist bodies, NWO, WHO, vaccines, and so on? Guess what? We are not these bodies, nor are we the material designations we get when we take birth in one of these material bodies. Nor should we identify with various groups of bodies, which we already did when we were ants, fish, birds etc.?

We might have a nice ivory white Mukunda body at present, but that is not our real situation. We are very temporary dwellers in these bodies, whatever it is at present. Granted, the so-called white people have been expert at exploiting other classes, and exploiting the planet by driving the planet into ecological wasteland ruin. 

That does not mean this is a superior process? 

If anything, its taking the planet down into more and more dysfunction and disaster problems. All we have to do is watch the channel 44 fright night movie shows to see what direction this society will take. Easy to predict the outcome, and its not going to be nice. Did we forget -- that the "smarter class of people" also have made atom bombs?

Our younger friends have concluded that for starters, Mukunda is a paranoid fearful person -- like a person in some horror movie where the fearful person is alway looking over their shoulder in case the demons living in the closet will come out to get them. A paranoid life is not a Krishna conscious life. Worse, some of these younger devotees are alarmed that various "anti-Krishna" web sites are displaying screen shots of Mukunda's sites, to try to paint that the Krishna movement is some sort of Nazi skin head organization. 

Not really giving Krishna a good name! Yep, there are many who think Mukunda's real objective is to give Krishna a bad name, by linking Krishna to various foolish mundane agendas.

In any case, there are riots going on all over the world. Some are based on race, some based on class, and all based on bodily platform issues. Srila Prabhupada said that when the numbers of unemployed people rises, there will be dangerous trouble in the big cities. That means, sending millions and millions of inner city jobs to China has not been a good idea. Of course, there were also poor or unemployed folks making riots even in the 17th century. None of this is actually new. 

Not even rocket science, unemployed people will tend to get desperate, and do desperate things. For that matter there is a big opioid addiction problem among poor caucasian folks. Same ditto problem, they are unemployed -- their job is also in China. So they are depressed, there are more crimes, drug abuse, there are also increased suicides and so on and so forth. Is their problem being fixed? Well not really, its all too little too late. 

Meanwhile the real issue Srila Prabhupada mentions, that they are not employed, is not really being fixed. A little tinkering is going on, but not enough to really change up the process. That means -- the prediction of Srila Prabhupada is largely going to happen -- without much substantial change of that destiny. If its the destiny of Kali yuga to have huge masses of unemployed people making dangerous troubled situations, us little peons are not in much of a position to alter this destiny. Our job is to surrender to Krishna and GET OUT of coming back to repeatedly take birth in various Kali Yugas over and over ad infinitum.

Srila Prabhupada said we should make shelters in rural areas, self-sufficient farms, but that was not done either. So the prediction that there will be an large scale alienated "jobless class of people" is happening already. And it will simply get worse as we have more and more computerized robots running assembly lines, self-driving cars, and so forth. Not sure why these devotees don't seem to focus on the unemployed root issue, despite this issue being mentioned a number of times by Srila Prabhupada.

There are also devotees sending me links to politicians saying we need to fix things by getting tougher to clamp down on these inner city people, and they think this is a great solution. OK that is just the opposite of fixing their unemployment problem? Basically the police have the "clean up job" of keeping the unemployed inner city folks in check. That cannot last forever. That means, just as predicted, these cities will become more dangerous, because the root issue is not being addressed. 

So our young friends concluded, even among dogs they will come up to wag their tails and greet the other dogs. They really don't care if the other dogs are red, white, brown, black, mixed or whatever it is. They know, "hey we are all dogs here, our colors are not the issue." So Mukunda has more bodily identification than a dog. The dogs know their colors are not the issue, Mukunda does not know that yet. So they said, maybe in future he can take birth as a dog and realize, we should all wag our tails at ALL the colors of dogs.  

The friends also said, Mukunda self-evidently thinks Krishna is some sort of White Nationalist Aryan defender, did he forget -- Krishna is blackish in color? Hee hee! Of course Prahlad das UK also told us that Mukunda's white body, brown body, black body, Zionist banker body, communist body issues are great because "it gets lots of hits." Well yes, the modes of ignorance and bodily identity is popular in Kali Yuga, no kidding! That is why its called Kali Yuga? I have to go take my percodans now, hee hee! ys pd  

Krishna book Recitation For Kids

https://kids.iskcondesiretree.com/index.php?q=f&f=%2FAudio%2F03_-_Krishna_Book_Recitation_For_Children

Fundme for Vidyananda prabhu (cancer illness)

https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-vidyananda-prabhu?

Tim and Laxmi Walsh (Tejaprakash d and Laksmana dd) is organizing this fundraiser.

On May 15th Vidyananda prabhu (William Halvorson) was diagnosed with three brain tumors. The first one on the right side of his head above his ear was surgically removed. The first tumor was biopsied and the doctor was able to diagnose that it is malignant. The other two tumors are inoperable because they are hidden in the rear center of his brain below his corpus callosum.

While in the hospital Vidyananda also suffered a stroke which has severely affected his left side. He has lost any ability to move his left arm and left leg. On account of the stroke he is unable to take chemo treatments for the two remaining malignant tumors. He is now in rehab trying to regain some movement on his left side. He is hoping to be able to come home sometime this month.

Unfortunately Medicare will only partially cover his medical equipment and not his day and night personal care. He will need a trained professional caregiver to be able to help him with the daily living care. Also his home needs to be modified so that when he does come home he will be as comfortable as possible.

Vidyananda and Kiritida are very exemplary disciples of Srila Prabhupada from the early 70's. Their Lordships Sri Sri Krishna Balarama in Alachua came through the kind and generous donation of Vidyananda and Kirtida prabhus.

Please let’s express our appreciation for these great souls by donating and keeping them in our heartfelt prayers during their great time of need. Any donation will be very much appreciated. Funds are needed immediately.

Thank you very much!

[PADA: A Thailand devotee who was translating things into Thai language also just recently passed. How did you guess -- cause was -- terminal cancer. My friend's wife, a professional nurse, says it is astonishing how many vegetarian and supposedly healthy living "Krishna devotees" are getting terminal cancer -- especially at NOT a very ripe old age. Its some sort of collective karma? 

Meanwhile a newer bhaktin type lady just video messaged PADA asking in sum, "I am reading your news how the ISKCON leaders and even Narayan Maharaja leaders have been promoting homosexuals and pedophiles as their gurus, and even the GBC folks are burying some of them in samadhis. Why have so many of the 'original Srila Prabhupada devotees' ordered their children and even us new people to worship these sexual predator and even pedophile guru programs, and to NOT accept Srila Prabhupada as our guru? Just not making any sense at all"? 

She is baffled. What kind of religion wants their children to worship self-appointed homosexual and pedophile guru programs, and they don't want their children to agree with you to have the founder of the religion as their guru? And therefore they call you "a bogus ritvik"? Even a newer person finds this to be incredibly strange. 

Did I forget to mention a lot of the Alachua devotees accept the GBC's illicit sex with men, women and children guru parampara? And another number of folks there promote the Narayan Maharaja deviant acharyas program? 

I don't really have a short form response to this lady except to say, they are in severe illusion. If anyone can give me a good reply to her question, lets have it! Is the fact that so many people are telling their children to worship sexual predators and pedophiles as their gurus, and not the pure devotee as their guru, one of the reasons so many of our ISKCON folks are getting all these terminal illness cases, its a collective karmic result? Our nurse friend thinks there is some collective connection. 

And of course, we could ask, why is there always millions and millions and millions on hand for lawsuits, but no apparent funds for the sick and ailing, and even -- the dying? What is wrong with this picture? 

Anyway, good luck Vidyananda, we wish you well in any event. 

However! I hope you will at least leave the world with a clarifying statement which you could send to us, i.e. the GBC's pedophile guru programs are bogus and should not have been promoted in Alachua to the children there, or anywhere else. 

Even this newer Bhaktin is amazed more people are not making this more and more clear at this stage, when it is self evident the worship of deviants process is failing left, right and center. And it also seems -- the persons who participated in this process, either by direct commission or indirect or de facto acquiescing and omission, seem to be getting hit with severe reactions? Or what?

We will update as we get more news.

angel108b@yahoo.com 

ys pd   

Untold Story of Arjuna's Chariot (Paripreksya)

https://paripreksya.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/arjunas-chariot-the-untold-story/?

Narayan Maharaja Camp Enabling A Molester Guru? Gaura Harrison / PADA

Apparently: Premananda Prabhuji's Web site https://kripa.tv/

Throughout the Cold By Gaura Harrison

... My step-dad was the well reputed, local beach bum. His name was Bart. We called him Pooh-Bear, for his hairy chest and sickening sweetness. He liked to have a good time. He was a smooth talker, and he had talked his way into a friendship with Martha, who owned the beach. Knowing the owner and all, I felt a sense of belonging at Sunny Cove, permission to play.

At home, I recluded to my room, my bed, my books and my mind. Home was strange, and my world was stranger. My father, William, had four children. My mom, Renee, had two, and my step mom, Lesley, had two. 

We were cult babies. First in line was my elder brother, Davan. In 1988, he was born in Cape Town, South Africa, at the Hare Krishna Temple that together my parents had started. A year after Davan, number two brother was born, Toshan. His mom, Lesley, was something like a novice priestess at the temple in Cape Town. 

My dad was caught having an affair. Lesley got pregnant. My father was the temple president and was expected to exhibit more decorum. During Lesley’s pregnancy, amid scandal, all three new parents moved from Africa to Southern California with Davan. They all landed in a house together selling paintings door to door to get by. 

Toshan was born there, and I was conceived. From there, pregnant with me, Mom left, taking Davan and moving to Santa Cruz. Dad and Lesley followed with Tosh, becoming homeless for a time. I was born in Santa Cruz as well as Lesley’s daughter, my younger sister, Ajita.

Growing up with my mother's animosity for my father, my father’s shame and sadness and the involvement of my step parents, I felt no rooted belonging. I fought with Davan. Pooh-Bear and Lesley fought with us. Davan recounted later, he felt that going between houses, Lesley and Pooh-Bear were playing intelectual ping pong and we were the balls. On the weekends, Lesley the radical feminist, ex-cult hippy, would say,” You shouldn’t let him talk to you like that. You have to stand up for yourself. Don’t let Bart bully you!”

Then during the week Bart, the art dealing, ex-cult, trash hauler, beach bum would say,” Gaura, you can’t talk to me like that! First, I’m in charge and second, I’m on your team!” I was a quiet and timid child.

At a Hare Krishna festival, when I was twelve, a new Hare Krsna boarding school, Gurukula, was announced. Mom asked me if I was interested and I said i’d give it a try. I didn’t even pause to consider. I was ready for change.

Gurukula represented for me a stark change in lifestyle. It took me away from the coast and Sunny Cove. The Gurukula was in Badger, California, in the rolling foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. In Gurukula I followed my attraction towards drumming and cooking. I had group lessons on the mridanga (Bengali hand drum) five days a week, forty five minutes a day, for two and a half years. On many occasions I got to cook lunch for the entire school, 25 students. These skills, drumming and cooking, later got me tickets around the world.

With a Group from Gurukula, I started visiting India when I was twelve, returning three times before moving there when I was seventeen. During this time, my connection to India started to grow. The headmaster of the Badger Gurukula was Braj, short for Brajendra Nandana. 

Braj was enamored with this sadhu, saint type, that lived in India, named Premananda Prabhuji. Prabhuji meant a lot of things to a lot of people. 

To me, he was the sexual predator that turned my life around. 

Although, I wouldn’t come to understand that until about a decade after my first visit to India. At gurukula I heard Prabhuji spoken of in reverent tones. ”Should you be so lucky, you may have the opportunity to bow at his feet.”

During this time at Gurukula, my connection to home dwindled. My mom called me regularly at first. My dad called me sometimes. I had trouble talking on phones. One word sentences were typical. On my home visits, my allergies would flare and I’d get a reminder of how miserable I could get at home. The common ground that connected me with my siblings eroded by my indoctrination at school. They were all in public school, living pretty normal lives. I was being trained out of books from ancient India. We grew apart.

When I was 16, I had a falling out with Braj and things began to change again. I was sent home. I had a talk with my mom and decided to take a high school equivalency exam. Then I was going to join the Matha (monastery), in India. My mother knew that I would be taken care of in India. I was going to stay with Prabhuji. 

He took care of all the young boys that came to the Matha. He was known as the mother of the matha. Although, the leader of the matha that I was going to stay in was Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayan Maharaj, know as Gurudeva. Gurudeva was older and toured during most of the year. When he was around, Gurudeva was insulated by a throng of devotees trying to accrue the blessings of his presence. Prabhuji saw to the day to day needs of the temple residents. He was the main reason that I wanted to go to India.

The first times I had stayed around Prabhuji, he was very affectionate, kind and generous. During my four month visit to India in 2004, I was staying in a building adjacent to the Matha. In the evenings, I’d go with friends I was staying with and hang out with Prabhuji. He would ask me how I spent my day and feed us sweets and snacks. He would encourage us to go to the temple functions and joke around with us. 

As we’d sit there, local residents would cycle in and out of his room. His room would fill up and his face would light up as he engaged in animated discussions with his visitors. Though most of his visitors were local, people would come from all over the world to speak with him. Sometimes the conversations were held with moist eyes and soft tones. 

Sometimes they were held in a rapid sing song garble of Hindi. Everyone who came was given something to eat, sweets, some clothes, or some attention. The residents of the temple came in and out asking this question or that. Some questions were of a spiritual nature, many were practical. “Will we have cauliflower and peas for our feast tomorrow or just cauliflower?” ”It's time for my daughter’s marriage, do you know a good match?” “When is Gurudeva returning?” ”How can I increase my inspiration?””Where did those pickles end up?””Is the guy with all the tools still here?”

A year later, 2005, I was fifteen. This year I went to India for a shorter visit, one month. About a week into the visit, a family friend that was staying with Prabhuji found me. His name was also Gaura, and he had grown up in Santa Cruz too. His father was also a Hare Krishna and had raised three sons without their mother. My mother would bake extra cookies and pies, when she baked and deliver them for Gaura and his family. 

Gaura told me that I was invited by Prabhuji to stay with them in a little complex they were renting. It was festival season in Vrindavan and accomodations were hard to come by. I took up the offer, moving into a small room with two friends from Gurukula. I felt so lucky to be staying so close to Prabhuji. Not only that, he had remembered who I was. I felt like the heavens had parted and facilitated my connection to this deeply spiritual person.

After getting sent home from school, I worked odd jobs saving up. I flew to India in August of 2007. Fall is festival season in India. Gurudeva always came back to India at that time of the year. My first few months were hectic and fun. I was awash with new information, new languages, new schedules, and a new life. The time flew by and soon festival season was over. Many of the pilgrims and temporary residents of the Matha went other places. Gurudeva left on a tour.

The temple had left just a skeleton crew. Daily, I would go to a morning lecture and would attend 2-3 hours of prayers in the altar room. I was assisting in the kitchen for lunch and making flatbreads in the evening. I would wash the pots from the kitchen at night. Even stripped to its bones the matha still seated 30-50 people for a late dinner. I’d finish up the dishes at 10:30 or eleven and go to sleep by 12am.

As December rolled in, I met the cold again. In India it is common to store your water tank on the roof and use gravity fed water pressure systems. It is also the custom for temple residents to shower after every time they pooped. This happened often as my bowls acclimated to India. The temple had no water heaters, and the water tank on the roof was haplessly exposed to the start of winter. My one pair of slippers were not allowed to be worn in the altar room or the kitchen and the floors were all stone or cement. There was no heater in my room, nor was there many anywhere in the temple. Everything was cold.

I would take my first shower before the first morning service at 4:30am. Sometimes I’d wake up early and go, with a small group, to the Yamuna river to bathe. The cold water definitely woke me up. Bathing at the temple, I would crowch under the tap on the third floor bathroom. As the frigid water rinsed over me, my nervous system would scream to life. 

My breath would slow and deepen. My mind would empty. There was no room for thoughts. My critical mind left, just as it did when I tumbled in the waves as a child. However, unlike playing in the ocean, I had no wetsuit, there was no sun beating down on me, and I wasn’t engaging in much aerobic exercise. 

It was 4:30am and I was trying to get to the altar room for morning prayers. During this first winter, I approached the water with anticipation and left with excitement. The cold baths would cycle back around every year. Though, when they’d come, I’d find myself in different corners of India and the world.

A year after my arrival in the Matha, I took monk vows. I kinda did it for attention. I had stayed the previous summer in Bangalore, South India. I’d had a falling out with Prabhuji. I wanted to stay in Mathura with him and he wanted me to go to Bangalore. He was being a jerk about it. We weren’t really talking when I came back for the fall festivals in 2008. 

I wanted to get his attention. I wanted him to be affectionate to me like he had been when I first started coming around. I thought that by taking monk vows, he wouldn’t be able to ignore me. I was right and I was wrong.

I ended up in Bengal winter of 2008, but I was having visa problems. 

I needed to leave the country every six months for my visa. So, I took a train to Nepal and stopped in Mathura on my way back. Prabhuji had a rotating group of boys that would massage him in the mornings, afternoons and nights. In India everyone gets massage. In the mornings, people dawn their towels and go to their roofs and courtyards. 

In the sun, parents massage children, children massage grandparents and people massage themselves. I had massaged Prabhuji on many occasion, but this night is when he made his move. The difference that night was that when I was leaving the room with the other boys, Prabhuji called me back,“ Gaura, wait. I still have some pain in my back.” Laying on his belly, with his elbows caulked out behind him, he rubbed his lower back.”Lock the door.” I locked the door, crossed the room and knelt beside him in the mosquito net. Massaging his back turned into him pulling me onto the bed next to him. He has Yoda’s grammar. Though, his voice is a little more sing-song than Yoda’s, and he talks much faster.

Earlier in the Day, I had asked Prabhuji about how to control lust. He told me not worry about it. As if to reassure me about how I had nothing to worry about, he began to ask me what sexual experience I had.

“I used to masturbate, but I haven’t been.” I replied.

“Oh, you would do handycrafts? If you have stopped though, then what is the problem?”

“I still have wet dreams. How do I make those stop? I am supposed to be a brahmachari (celibate monk).”

He told me about a folk remedy, kutira, that I could get nearby for cheap. Then, he asked me,” Have you never gotten sexy with ladies?”

I said,”No.”

Prabhuji asked,”Not even kissing?”

I said,”No”

He said,” Good.” I left shortly after, wondering what he meant when he said good. I’d regularly spent a lot of time thinking about what Prabhuji meant by something.

That evening, back in his room, Prabhuji’s intentions began to unfold. He picked up on the afternoons conversation saying,” Where did you learn about handycrafts?”

“The boys at school,” I said. We were laying on our sides facing one another. He put his outside arm around me. I thought he was trying to comfort me. I didn’t understand what was going on.

He was holding me. He told me,” Don’t worry about the boys at school. Poor boy. Oh, its ok. I am here, I love you.” He kissed my face. I was embarrassed. His hand snagged on my belt line as he slipped his hand into my robe. The other arm was still around me. My heart rate increased and my body tensed. I cringed, taking slow deep breaths.

As he began manipulating my penis, he said,” This linga (penis) has given you so many worries. Don’t worry now. Its ok, I love you.” To his many insistences of love, I replied,” Prabhuji, koro na, koro na.” (Please stop) Besides those few word on repeat, I was frozen. My penis remained flaccid. 5 or 10 minutes passed. Eventually he stopped. As he withdrew his hand from my robe, his arm around me remained. His insistences of love continued and among them he told me not to tell anyone about this, because they wouldn’t understand.

As I left the room, he followed me to the door, locking it behind me. I walked slowly through the empty temple to my room. I’d had a full adrenaline surge and I was feeling disassociated. I knew that the experience I’d just had changed things. I didn’t know how. The pedestal I held Prabhuji on may have cracked, but it did not yet crumble. I was a young 18. That was my first sexual encounter. I didn’t understand what had happened, and at the time, Prabhuji was my world.

The following days blurred into the following months and years. Something similar happened the next night and within the next few days, I went back to Bengal. I drifted further away from Prabhiji the following years. I stayed in Bangalore again the next summer and Bengal the following winter. On a tour, I visited Malaysia, New Zealand and Australia. Gurudeva was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2010 and passed away in January, 2011. Early 2011, I moved to Miami to be the priest at a new temple. 2012 brought me to a rural Hare Krishna settlement in Texas. Then, back to India.

That year I spent my summer in Bengal and Mathura finally ending up in a Bangladeshi refugee settlement in Sindhanur, Karnataka(South India). A new temple was being started there. Prabhuji went with a group to help get things started and when they left, I stayed.

All together there were three temple residents in Sindhanur and I was senior. I had a lot of free time to structure. I would cook lunch, and in the evening I’d lecture about Bhakti Yoga, connection through devotion. I created a flower garden, and practiced my stitching on the treadle sewing machine. Sindhanur is located in a desert. There I saw more stars than anywhere else I’ve been. I wandered around the villages and talked to the local people. Although the temple was in Karnataka and the local language was Kanada, the refugees from Bangladesh, their children and grandchildren also spoke Bengali, Hindi and sometimes English.

In Sindhanur, I got a sim card for a cell phone that had been given to me. I called a friend in Miami, and I began to reach out to my family again. I had a long conversation with my father. He was excited about paying off his debt with the U.S. government, something to do with my mom’s financial aid and his inability to pay child support. He said he’d almost completed his payments. 

He’d be eligible to apply for a passport once his debt was paid off. He wanted to come visit me. We talked about John Bradshaw and sorting through the past. Dad recommended reading John Bradshaw’s books, Homecoming, or Family Secrets. A week later I got a call from Lesley telling me that my father had a serious stroke. Less than a week after that she called me to say goodbye to him.

The same week my mother was diagnosed with cancer and again my life began to churn. I had to go to Bangalore to get some dental work done. While there I spoke to Prabhuji and he told me not to go back to Sindhanur. I landed in a temple / orphanage outside of Bangalore propper. A couple friends from Mathura were staying there. I’d cook lunch for the kids there and take part in other projects. The orphanage was on 5 acres of banana and coconut trees. The surrounding area was agricultural. It was quiet and I had a lot of down time. The few months I spent there allowed me to ruminate before I returned to Vrindavan for festival season.

A numbness had crept over me. I didn’t know where it came from. I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I was angry and disassociated. I buried my feelings in simple tasks. I started teaching drum lessons, I made flat breads, and hung yogurt. I moved a wood pile and wandered around Vrindavan.

2013 brought me back to Badger. I stayed in the temple, cooked lunch and started watching Game of Thrones. My mom came and stayed with a friend on the next property over. We stayed there for a couple of months. This was her second cancer, and she refused kimo. She wanted to move to India for whatever time she had left. I assured her that when she was ready I would fly with her to India and help her get set up.

I went back to India for a summer and stayed till the start of fall. I wondered why I wasn’t happy there. I felt a dull emptiness, no connection. I asked myself what reasons I had to stay, but I came up empty. That's when I decided that I was going back to America. Two days later I was changing out of my robes into a pair of jeans, on a train heading to the Delhi airport. I had worked out a job trimming on a pot farm in Northern California and that's where I spent the next month. I bounced around California for a few months. Untill, in Spring of 2014 mom was ready for India.

We flew together from San Francisco on February 12th. Our taxi met us at the airport and brought us to Vrindavan. We arrived just in time for Vasant Panchami, the flower festival of spring. She lived the next year and a half in a small one bedroom on the bank of the Yamuna river. The room opened into the altar room of a temple complex run by women. I visited her twice before her passing. Her last words to me were,” We had a good run. Everything is coming together like a drama. It’s better than a dream. I love you Gaura.”

When she passed, I was living in Santa Cruz again and going to massage school. I had started seeing my partner, Keiko. I asked her out after a yoga class. The next year, when she got accepted to a Masters in Nursing at USM she asked me to come with her.

So, we moved to Maine. Keiko’s program demanded much of her attention. Isolated from anyone I knew, in a new world again, loneliness, and depression sank in. I had gotten some backlash when I started telling people about my experience of sexuall assault with Prabhuji. In effect, I was only in touch with a handful of people that I knew from Badger and the Hare Krsna world. I struggled with my job as a massage therapist. It was hard for me just to show up. There was a weird contrast between the intimacy of the physical interaction and the lack of other communication. In 2017, I started having wrist problems. I had to quit my job but my wrist problems continued.

I had a number of bouts of severe anxiety and depression and was looking for a way to manage my moods. I came across Wim Hof and his method. I remembered one morning as I was about to enter my cold shower thinking that the cold water spouting in my bathroom is Wim Hof’s God. Not my god but perhaps, it was godly. That morning I felt the cold wash over my body, but I did not feel cold.

I still think of wim’s words often,” You have the power to control your body. You have the power to control your emotions, just as nature intended it to be. Health, strength and happiness, all you want, it’s there. It's free, as free as cold water and air. Breathe and believe. In the cold, with your breath you can achieve what takes meditators decades, in days. Oxygenate the body. Take control.”

As I approached the shower before sitting down to write this, my breath slowed and deepened. Turning the tap to cold, the air inside my little glass shower stall began to cool. I could feel my skin contract. I tilted my head into the stream of water. My chest heaved and while I leaned back, the icy water trickled down my spine. My nervous system riled and I stepped forward.

Entering the water, the muscles in my chest and core fire in cycle with my breath. My shoulders rotate and my knees bend as my spine snakes gently forward and back. My body surges with muscular contractions. When I pay attention to the sensation of the cold numbing my skin, it is met by something. I feel the cold, but I do not feel cold. I feel powerful, in control and calm. A playfulness takes over, and I begin to rub my arms, legs, chest, back and neck. Minutes pass, issued on by my breath. Stepping out of the shower, I feel alive and ready for whatever comes next.

=====================

Another sexual predator was unmasked. Watching this film felt too close to home. There were different characters, a different setting but the plot mirrored my story. My predator was also a manipulative, cocky, Bengali guru type. Insulated by a diehard following, he answers to no one, and his mental illness is defended. 

I feel pity for those that guided me to him, for falling under his spell and for the people still bound to him. I feel shame that during his professions of love for me, I was kissed and molested by a demented man. I feel rage that my tears and pleas for him to stop were not enough disincentives. 

For me, the experience was of shock and terror, for him, another notch on the belt. I feel the full-hearted connection and compassion, that he stole from my youth, breaking through as my heart goes out to the others that have been attacked in similar ways. He still sits on his Guru seat, and my prayer for you is that you be careful around Premananda (Prabhuji).

Silence benefits the perpetrators. Stand up and speak out against sexual predation.

[PADA: Premananda still sits in his guru seat, with the acquiescing of the Narayan Maharaja community? Or what? Of course nothing new here, Narayan Maharaja supported the GBC's sexual predator guru process. And NM says the creators of the Gaudiya Matha's sexual predator guru process are bona fide gurus. In sum, Premananda  is "insulated by a diehard following." And he is defended. And these are the people who are claiming to be better than the GBC? 

What are they doing to remedy this person who is evidently a predator acting as the living guru representative of GOD Almighty, and the guru of their mission? Apparently, not much. Worse, this Premananda fellow seems to be a homosexual pedophile posing as God's successor, which is the same deviation we had going on under the GBC -- with devastating consequences for the victims. Is there no concern for the victims? 

Anyway, Gaura Harrison is very brave to come out and make a public complaint about these rogues. And we say "bravo to that," at least he is trying to save others from being potential victims. More than the other NM lot is doing. He also says he resents the people who set him up to accept this process, and he is right on that count as well. The enablers are also guilty. We were telling the Badger folks ages ago that this NM program is in bed with the GBC's molester messiahs process and thus it should be avoided. 

But we have had Brajendranandan, Gopa Vrndapal, Mula Prakriti and the whole Badger mob saying -- we need to have our children worship the head priest of the GBC's molester messiahs program, namely Narayan Maharaja: Who is also the Head defender of Tamal and -- the main suspect in the poison complaint of Srila Prabhupada. This is the group of folks we wanted our children to worship? And now that their program has proven to be a failure, they are not speaking up? The victims have to stand up and proclaim -- your emperor has no clothes?

Anyway, we hope this sparks some reconsideration in the Narayan camp of whom they are promoting as their gurus, including their head guru NM, who was Tamal's bucket boy for years together, where they had pedophiles floating around under Tamal's regime left, right and center. This whole thing is pretty disgusting, of course you'd need some sort of moral compass to know it is disgusting. And that might explain why so many of these people allow all these programs to continue without protest, they have no internal guidance. Meanwhile, they are discussing gopi rasika. This is all gliding down to the lower planets, thats all there is to it. ys pd]